On the Couch with Gail Saltz, M.D. | A Mental Health Blog at iVillage.com
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A new study out in JAMA today found that Viagra worked in treating the sexual side effects associated with the most commonly used antidepressants, the serotonin reuptake inhibitors. These medications can be very helpful for treating anxiety and depression but commonly cause difficulty in becoming sexually aroused as well as trouble having an orgasm.
In fact, the sexual side effects can be so problematic that many people who need the medication stop taking it anyway.
Viagra was studied for helping women with sexual dysfunction years ago and found to not be very useful; the FDA stopped the large trial. This smaller study is specifically about treating sexual side effects and did not improve sexual desire. Viagra can have side effects too, like headache, increase in blood pressure and stomach upset. Many people can tolerate Viagra well or would pick those side effects over their sex life any day.
This could make a big difference to a lot of women.
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Related content from Dr. Gail Saltz:
In fact, the sexual side effects can be so problematic that many people who need the medication stop taking it anyway.
Viagra was studied for helping women with sexual dysfunction years ago and found to not be very useful; the FDA stopped the large trial. This smaller study is specifically about treating sexual side effects and did not improve sexual desire. Viagra can have side effects too, like headache, increase in blood pressure and stomach upset. Many people can tolerate Viagra well or would pick those side effects over their sex life any day.
This could make a big difference to a lot of women.
Get more tips and information on Today Show on iVillage
Related content from Dr. Gail Saltz:
How you eat and what you eat can affect your mood as well as your ability to think.
Check out my TODAY show segment on the topic.
For some people, eating more than several hours apart causes a fluctuating sugar level in the blood and brain. Significant dips in blood glucose can cause physical symptoms such as tremulousness, racing heart, weakness and fatigue. Some of these symptoms will be interpreted in your brain as anxiety, others as low mood overall. When you feel lousy it makes you irritable. So, for those people who do have sugar shifts it is helpful to eat to maintain a stable level in order to maintain even mood. Similarly dehydration can make you feel weak, tired, shaky and can even interfere with cognition. This is particularly an issue for older people who are more likely to get dehydrated in these summer months, not realize it and make not only their mood, but also their thinking worse. A little dementia can be much worse with dehydration.
There is research to support that a deficiency in Omega 3 fatty acids correlates with depression. Omega 3 fatty acids may help as an adjunct to other treatments for mild to moderate depression and may also help for depression in kids, but only under the supervision of a professional. There is not conclusive data that Omega 3 fatty acids help with bipolar disorder or schizophrenia. The jury is out on ADD in kids, but some data suggests it may help their symptoms in the classroom. There also may be, though it's inconclusive, a role for fatty acids in improving cognition. The reasoning has to do with the fact that omega 3 fatty acids are needed to maintain neuroplasticity (how brain cells are recruited from a generic brain cell to be used for a more specific purpose.)
Folate, also known as vitamin B6 has been studied for its role in cognitive thinking. It has been found that a folate deficiency can cause dementia or cognitive problems, hence it's important to take in enough to not be lacking. However, there is no evidence that taking extra folate will help with either dementia or mood.
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There is research to support that a deficiency in Omega 3 fatty acids correlates with depression. Omega 3 fatty acids may help as an adjunct to other treatments for mild to moderate depression and may also help for depression in kids, but only under the supervision of a professional. There is not conclusive data that Omega 3 fatty acids help with bipolar disorder or schizophrenia. The jury is out on ADD in kids, but some data suggests it may help their symptoms in the classroom. There also may be, though it's inconclusive, a role for fatty acids in improving cognition. The reasoning has to do with the fact that omega 3 fatty acids are needed to maintain neuroplasticity (how brain cells are recruited from a generic brain cell to be used for a more specific purpose.)
Folate, also known as vitamin B6 has been studied for its role in cognitive thinking. It has been found that a folate deficiency can cause dementia or cognitive problems, hence it's important to take in enough to not be lacking. However, there is no evidence that taking extra folate will help with either dementia or mood.
Get more tips and information on Today Show on iVillage
More from Dr. Gail Saltz:
A new study out of the University of Denver showed that couples who have more fun time together also report more marital satisfaction and good feelings about their partner. This seems rather obvious I suppose, but the interesting thing is that for the most part couples are working very hard to be able to afford some fun and yet they aren’t taking any time to do that. In fact, another recent study found that couples are spending less time together than ever. Between trying to make a living in these tough economic times and being a very present parent, couples are finding it hard to make some “we” time. Sadly, the fact remains that no fun times may lead to real marital disaster, which besides being painfully tragic, costs a whole lot of money that most couples can afford even less.
Watch the segment from TODAY
In addition, men and women seem to have different definitions of fun. Men define play by a shared activity, like going to a game or playing tennis together. Women define play by getting to have intimate conversation like they would with a close friend. This means that each needs to know what fun is to the other and make some attempt to meld those two wishes.
Watching TV or being on the computer do not qualify as having fun together: They are really solitary experiences. Fun is best achieved through doing something new and even somewhat exciting! This builds great memories and a history together of good times. So try something you haven’t done before with your mate, stretch yourself and make it alittle exciting, too (rock climbing anyone?) When time is short try cooking together while talking or going to the coffee shop for a quick cup.
Any other ideas for couples looking to have a little fun? Do you and your partner take time to have fun together? Please leave a comment with your thoughts.
Get more tips and information on Today Show on iVillage
Watching TV or being on the computer do not qualify as having fun together: They are really solitary experiences. Fun is best achieved through doing something new and even somewhat exciting! This builds great memories and a history together of good times. So try something you haven’t done before with your mate, stretch yourself and make it alittle exciting, too (rock climbing anyone?) When time is short try cooking together while talking or going to the coffee shop for a quick cup.
Any other ideas for couples looking to have a little fun? Do you and your partner take time to have fun together? Please leave a comment with your thoughts.
Get more tips and information on Today Show on iVillage
Emotional affairs are on the rise because the ability to connect with more people outside of a marriage has increased. For example, there are more women in the workplace and, of course, the Internet has opened up new opportunities. Plus, it is also on the rise because many people convince themselves that as long as there is no sex, it's not an affair... but it is.
An affair really has to do with secrecy, deception of the partner and therefore betrayal. It also has to do with the amount of emotional energy you put into the new person that you therefore are not giving to your partner. Actually, most people are more disturbed by the breaking of trust than by sex in an affair. That betrayal of trust is the most difficult thing to recover from.
Watch the segment from TODAY
Many people have an emotional affair, yet due to their own denial don’t believe they are cheating. The denial keeps them guilt-free and they don’t have to give it up.
So how do you know if you are having emotional affair?
So often we don’t appreciate our relationship until we are about to lose it. If you have had an affair, you need to own up and take responsibility
Here's my advice if you think you're having an emotional affair:
So, what do you think? Take the poll and leave a comment with your thoughts below!
Get more tips and information on Today Show on iVillage
An affair really has to do with secrecy, deception of the partner and therefore betrayal. It also has to do with the amount of emotional energy you put into the new person that you therefore are not giving to your partner. Actually, most people are more disturbed by the breaking of trust than by sex in an affair. That betrayal of trust is the most difficult thing to recover from.
Many people have an emotional affair, yet due to their own denial don’t believe they are cheating. The denial keeps them guilt-free and they don’t have to give it up.
So how do you know if you are having emotional affair?
- You keep meetings and conversations secret from your partner.
- You say and do things with another person you never would in front of your spouse.
- You make a point to arrange talk time with someone other than your partner.
- You share things with another person that you don’t with your partner.
So often we don’t appreciate our relationship until we are about to lose it. If you have had an affair, you need to own up and take responsibility
Here's my advice if you think you're having an emotional affair:
- END IT! No halfway, no "kind of", no being friends…It has to end or you will still be in it and cannot build back your partners trust.
- Take Responsibility. No one else did it but you. You need to own it to get past it.
- Figure out why you did it. Was your marriage failing? Were you looking for self esteem? Repeating the pattern of a parent who cheated?
- Be trustworthy. The biggest obstacle to your relationship's survival is the betrayal, so you must be thoroughly open and trustworthy to build trust back. This means doing what your partner needs you to do (like coming home right after work, breaking off all contact with the other person).
- It takes time. Rebuilding trust after betrayal takes time. You have to be patient and can’t expect your partner to just bounce back.
So, what do you think? Take the poll and leave a comment with your thoughts below!
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There are two new books out from couples who made a decision to have sex with their spouse every night for 101 or 365 days. The reviews from both couples seem to be mixed…not surprising. Yes, it improved intimacy and yes, it was very difficult and, at times, a horrible drag.
While I agree with the concept that sometimes when you are not in the mood and you just push yourself to start having sex and you will find you get in the mood, I also believe if you can never say “NO” then “YES” never really means “YES!”. In other words, it is important to make sex important in your relationship. Sometimes this means making a serious effort at it even when you are not feeling so inclined. But, if you feel like you can never not be in the mood, never turn your partner down, never disappoint him, then the likelihood you will ever genuinely feel excited is not going to be there. Having a good sexual life does mean prioritizing it. It means talking about how to make it better with your spouse. It means taking into account how your partner feels about it. But it does not mean ignoring your needs and desires.
What both couples seem to have really learned is how much closer and intimate sex can make you feel, even when you have been married a long time. This is because we are all at our most vulnerable during sex. It is an open, honest and tender time. You each get to see and feel more of the human essence of your mate. You have put it out there -- in terms of what you like, what you don’t and what you are thinking about. This is both exciting and scary, which is why so many people back away and erect a wall against such intimacy-- to avoid the risk of rejection. It is so important to be sensitive to each others' vulnerable state and be as supportive as possible. At the same time, such revelation is very exciting when you feel really safe and honest and loved just for being you with your partner.
I think the takeaway from such an exercise is that sometimes you just have to get going to break through those initial sexual barriers that may have been built up over many years. What is on the other side is most certainly worth having.
What are your thoughts?
While I agree with the concept that sometimes when you are not in the mood and you just push yourself to start having sex and you will find you get in the mood, I also believe if you can never say “NO” then “YES” never really means “YES!”. In other words, it is important to make sex important in your relationship. Sometimes this means making a serious effort at it even when you are not feeling so inclined. But, if you feel like you can never not be in the mood, never turn your partner down, never disappoint him, then the likelihood you will ever genuinely feel excited is not going to be there. Having a good sexual life does mean prioritizing it. It means talking about how to make it better with your spouse. It means taking into account how your partner feels about it. But it does not mean ignoring your needs and desires.
What both couples seem to have really learned is how much closer and intimate sex can make you feel, even when you have been married a long time. This is because we are all at our most vulnerable during sex. It is an open, honest and tender time. You each get to see and feel more of the human essence of your mate. You have put it out there -- in terms of what you like, what you don’t and what you are thinking about. This is both exciting and scary, which is why so many people back away and erect a wall against such intimacy-- to avoid the risk of rejection. It is so important to be sensitive to each others' vulnerable state and be as supportive as possible. At the same time, such revelation is very exciting when you feel really safe and honest and loved just for being you with your partner.
I think the takeaway from such an exercise is that sometimes you just have to get going to break through those initial sexual barriers that may have been built up over many years. What is on the other side is most certainly worth having.
What are your thoughts?
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