On the Couch with Gail Saltz, M.D. | A Mental Health Blog at iVillage.com
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- On the Couch with Dr. Gail Saltz
Today I am speaking to a large group of women attending MORE magazine's Reinvention Convention. I will be talking about menopause and the mind.
So in a nutshell, here are the most important points.
Women in perimenopause do have a greater likelihood of suffering from both depressed moods and true depression. Those at highest risk are women who have had mood issues around their period or after childbirth, those with hot flashes, trouble sleeping, history of childhood abuse and a sudden surgically-caused menopause.
After menopause the likelihood of depression drops to normal. Depression can be treated with estrogen or antidepressants or psychotherapy.
Perimenopausal women also often notice difficulty with memory. Estrogen replacement may help with this temporary memory problem at the time right around menopause BUT data show that women who have not been on hormone replacement and then at a later age (like 65) take estrogen it can actually worsen symptoms of dementia. The data about hormone replacement therapy is quite tricky and should definitely be discussed with your gynecologist.
Depending on what your family history and medical issues are it might or might not be right for you.
So in a nutshell, here are the most important points.
Women in perimenopause do have a greater likelihood of suffering from both depressed moods and true depression. Those at highest risk are women who have had mood issues around their period or after childbirth, those with hot flashes, trouble sleeping, history of childhood abuse and a sudden surgically-caused menopause.
After menopause the likelihood of depression drops to normal. Depression can be treated with estrogen or antidepressants or psychotherapy.
Perimenopausal women also often notice difficulty with memory. Estrogen replacement may help with this temporary memory problem at the time right around menopause BUT data show that women who have not been on hormone replacement and then at a later age (like 65) take estrogen it can actually worsen symptoms of dementia. The data about hormone replacement therapy is quite tricky and should definitely be discussed with your gynecologist.
Depending on what your family history and medical issues are it might or might not be right for you.
Right now many are feeling panic. When overwhelmed by panic your mind cannot be as efficient in figuring out how to deal with your particular problem. It is very worth it to take time out to calm your mind. Deep breathing, exercise, a warm bath, distraction with music or comedy. Try not to watch the stock market every second because it will not help, but it will fill you with anxiety. If you find yourself really hopeless or unable to sleep or eat, concentrate or constantly filled with fear then it is time to see a professional because you may be suffering from either depression or an anxiety disorder. Treatment can help.
Get more information from TODAY at Todayshow.iVillage.com
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People are feeling especially intensely about this election, not surprising given the sorry state of the nation at this point. I have been hearing from some couples that each member of the couple wants a different candidate to win this election….badly. Fear and anxiety drive a passion for a fix, so believing that your candidate possesses the cure makes you quite intent.
What happens when you feel intently for Obama and your mate feels intently for McCain? Fireworks! These couples are fighting about everything, not just national issues but it spills over into how you parent, how you clean, how you spend and of course how and IF you will have sex. Sometimes a heated argument can lead to great make-up sex, especially if it was actually a passionate exchange of intellectual ideas that neither of you take all that personally. But for a number of couples today, it is very very personal. In fact, personally, they are shutting their partner out in the non-sexual cold as punishment for supporting the “enemy”.
You need to keep in mind that after November one person will be president, and you won’t be married to him. You will be married to the same spouse and you will have to make that work.
Political debate is fun and exciting, a war of the Roses is not.
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Following the recent financial roller coaster ride most people are feeling the heat, and it is increasing anxiety for many. Fear of job loss, actual job loss, loss of income from investments gone south and loss of home worth are creating real and terrible pressures and anxieties.
At times like this it is very normal to feel scared, angry and even sad. Even though its normal, it is still important to make efforts to de-stress. Do something that relaxes you for some time each day… take a bath, hug your partner, watch a funny movie. Make sure that you eat right, exercise and get enough sleep because these all help in the face of pressure.
If however you find yourself unable to sleep, losing your appetite, unable to concentrate and feeling hopeless about the future, you may have crossed the line from sadness in to depression. Depression needs professional intervention; either a therapist to talk to or, in severe cases, medication. This is a time to all support each other, to listen to each other and to remember what really matters to us most like family and health.
Get more information from TODAY at Todayshow.iVillage.com
Related content from Dr. Gail Saltz:
At times like this it is very normal to feel scared, angry and even sad. Even though its normal, it is still important to make efforts to de-stress. Do something that relaxes you for some time each day… take a bath, hug your partner, watch a funny movie. Make sure that you eat right, exercise and get enough sleep because these all help in the face of pressure.
If however you find yourself unable to sleep, losing your appetite, unable to concentrate and feeling hopeless about the future, you may have crossed the line from sadness in to depression. Depression needs professional intervention; either a therapist to talk to or, in severe cases, medication. This is a time to all support each other, to listen to each other and to remember what really matters to us most like family and health.
Get more information from TODAY at Todayshow.iVillage.com
Related content from Dr. Gail Saltz:
Money is one of the top topics for arguing in a marriage and also one of the main reasons for splitting up. Yet as important as this topic is to discuss, it is one of the subjects couples are least likely to talk about before and during a marriage. Most couples feel it is not romantic or too personal to discuss, and so the problems mount until an explosion occurs. People come to a relationship with their own way of thinking about and dealing with money. Your money style has a lot to do with the way your parents dealt with money and also your risk-taking versus conservative personality style. In addition, in this day and age of many second marriages and step children many couples come to a marriage with debt, alimony, feelings about how much they want to spend on their biological child versus a step child, etc. These are all issues which need to be sorted out, discussed and understood before marriage. Differences between the sexes in attitude toward money also make agreements difficult to come by. Both men and women tend to be concerned about retirement and the wish to have enough money to do so comfortably. Men still make most financial decisions about cars and investments whereas women do about major appliances and things for the kids. Most fights occur over spending for both men and women; who gets to, how much, from what pot? Besides money being a limited commodity and therefore couples are scared about not having enough (hence arguments) it also represents power and couples will argue over who has the power in the relationship. Feeling that the subject of money is taboo or embarrassing is the reason couples tend not discuss even the basics and hence anger builds and festers, good feelings begin to erode between them and ultimately a big blow up occurs.
Things you need to do:
Ante up before the marriage. Many people either keep quiet about money or even lie. You need to reveal all debt from the start. It will all come out eventually, with much more anger and angst. Be up front. Find out what they owe, what they spend, what they consider to be priorities, what is their style of saving and spending. Discuss financial goals, retirement, credit cards and how you feel about debt. Discuss alimony and child support, mortgage, bankruptcy... if those apply. Also discuss how you both FEEL about money. What does it represent to you? How was it handled in your family of origin? Do you tend to be tight with it or relaxed?
Have a monthly conference. Keep up every month with a discussion of where you are financially, where you want to be. Discuss planning for children. Talk about which expenses will get a priority when money gets tight (before it gets tight). What was spent, any debt issues and plans for investing. Set aside the time and don’t have it off the cuff or in the bedroom.
Be knowledgeable. Both partners should stay informed about what is happening with the money. How much there is? How much is spent?
Make a budget. You need to agree upon a budget so both know what the other expects.
Be honest. Many people lie or omit information when it comes to money. Eventually the truth comes out and the betrayal can destroy the marriage. Be sure to be up front and honest about how you handle money. Being secretive about money is also a slippery slope when it comes to lying about other issues.
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