On the Couch with Gail Saltz, M.D. | A Mental Health Blog at iVillage.com

Attention Deficit Disorder is a collection of symptoms usually thought about in terms of children who are struggling in school, children who seem impulsive, easily distracted and fidgety. Increasingly, children are getting a diagnosis, and then one of their parents becomes shocked to realize that their child's symptoms are the same as his or her own from childhood. Instead of being diagnosed with ADD and benefiting from treatment, this earlier generation was told they were difficult kids, losers, dumb or simply bad. Sadly, many of them/you grew up believing that all of that was true, and it shattered your self-esteem and became a self-fulfilling prophecy as you struggled with underachieving at work and having difficulty in relationships.

But the diagnosis in children has liberated some adults to go back to find out if what they thought was simply being a difficult person was really ADD.

Watch the segment from TODAY Symptoms may look similar to your child's symptoms, or be very different.

• Overall, the problem is the sensation that thoughts are hard to hold onto, that you are often distracted by new thoughts before you got to complete the last one.
• There is both a distractibility that makes it hard to follow a sequential line of thinking or task completion, and also possibly a hyper-focusing on something that especially catches your eye, to the exclusion of anything else.
• Feeling a rush to impulsively act on whatever comes to mind (in combination with a low tolerance for frustration) means you are a person who may say or do things that don't seem terribly appropriate at the moment.
• Overall organization is difficult and so nothing gets completed, just lots of bits and pieces.
• A mental and physical restlessness pervades, making it hard to relax without feeling anxious or tied down.

On the flipside many adults with ADD are highly intelligent and creative people, many are high-achievers. They can feel exciting, zesty and spirited in all kinds of great ways. There are a number of treatments available. Most are aimed at coping skills to contend with the weaknesses created by ADD, while boosting the individual's strengths. Sometimes medication is helpful, but often it is not needed, or needed for only a short while. See an experienced psychiatrist who has lots of expertise in treating adults with ADD.

For more information on ADD or ADHD go to www.DRHallowell.com

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Kate White, editor-in-chief of 'Cosmopolitan' magazine, and psychiatrist Gail Saltz talk to TODAY's Ann Curry about the five things you think will make you happy but won't.

Watch the segment from TODAY Get more information and tips on Today Show on iVillage!

Ten percent of people suffer from some sort of phobia.  A phobia is an irrational fear that can cause anxiety and borderline panic.  The most common phobias are towards animals like dogs, cats or spiders.  Many  phobias tend to develop at a young age, but they can often set in later in life and are called “situational phobias.”

Watch the segment from TODAY

The most successful way to get over a phobia is to sit down with a professional and expose yourself to what is causing your fear.  Exposure therapy can remove your phobia in a just a few sessions.

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More from Dr. Gail Saltz

• Is it a panic attack?

The recession is deeply affecting people. For some, it is the hard financial facts and the stress, fear, frustration and depression that it brings. Others may not be in a desperate financial situation, but they are still in a "psychological recession", meaning that they fear the recession is happening and this gives them a sense of loss of control, anxiety about what might happen to them in the future and angst that whatever is happening to others they cannot prevent happening to them.

Watch the segment from TODAY In the current economy, more and more companies are downsizing and having layoffs. Whether you are laid off or fired, losing your job can really feel devastating. One's job, besides providing the money necessary for living, can also give that person their sense of identity and self-confidence. It is common to define yourself by what you do and how well you do it. Therefore, if you lose that job your entire sense of self-worth and who you are in the world can be shaken.Men who feel it is "being a man" to be the provider for the family and be successful in their work often experience terrible feelings of shame and humiliation when they lose a job. Some men feel so embarrassed that they may maintain a charade of going to work to hide their unemployment from their family or friends.

Women, on the other hand, are more able to turn to their role as wife and mother for their sense of self-worth. The problem for women is that their family and peers may not understand the terrible loss and sense of failure for her because they expect them to beperfectly happy with the wife/mother role alone. Unemployment can be terribly difficult for a couple to deal with, as each partner may have their own reaction to their spouses' loss of work. These include fears about the families financial security, feelings about how this makes them view their partner and effect this will have on their children. Sometimes the person who lost their job is so ashamed they may push their partner away leaving them feeling helpless and alone.

There is a huge connection between the economy and mental health. Money is one of the biggest stressors. Losing your job and being unable to make ends meet leaves people anxious and can even lead to depression. You may remember during The Great Depression, bankers jumped from windows and ended their lives over the panic and shame they felt from being financially ruined. I am seeing marriages flounder under the stress of the current recession. Angry and scared couples fight more and look to the other to fix things... When people can't, there is disappointment and frustration. Less money equals more money fights. Shame makes people turn away from friends and family who would normally be their support, and hence they are alone while feeling terrible. People who had mental health issues to begin with and were therefore at greater risk for depression now feel they can't afford to seek treatment, and so they get worse.

Thank you to all who wrote in such good questions about addressing sex and sexuality with your children. I of course will not be able to answer all your questions on air, so I am adding some answers here.

Watch the segment from TODAY Many questions are about "what is normal?" Suffice it to say that when it comes to each individual's curiosity about and interest in sex there is a huge variation in "normal". It is normal to want to know everything and think about it a lot; it is also normal to not ask questions and feel somewhat embarrassed to discuss it at all. It is easiest when your child asks questions and you answer specifically what they are asking. If done in a matter-of-fact, comfortable way you will provide the information they need and open the future up for further dialogue. If they don't ask or bring it up, then you should. By nine or ten, kids are starting puberty and their bodies change and they need the information to avoid embarrassment, shock and the feeling that something is wrong with the subject matter. Bring it up with a book or in conversation related to something going on in your lives (teachers having a baby, tampon commercial on television, a mature theme on a kids' television program).

If they resist talking about it, then ask them what the problem is. What makes them uncomfortable, what are they embarrassed about? You may be able to diffuse their shyness about it.

Many kids feel anxious about masturbation, they wonder if it's wrong (the old "if something feels this good it must be bad" thing) and for girls they may wonder how a big baby gets out of such a small vagina without "killing you". It is important to address their fears. ALL children masturbate at some point and they should know that; they should also know that it is fine and yet that it is private.

Girls need help understanding that vaginas expand and contract (try a balloon analogy) and therefore it is safe and will not damage a woman.

Really, the conversations with kids of a younger age are easier and if done comfortably will make the adolescent conversations easier. Talk to your teen about the huge responsibility that sex is. It changes you. It also carries the responsibility of preventing pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. It is emotionally huge and it involves the feelings of two people.

Talk to them about the fact that sex does not only mean intercourse. Oral sex is sex. Heavy petting is sex. They need to think it all through and therefore not get caught in the heat of the moment, unprepared for what they want and know is best for them. It is true that sometimes the media or an experience will push your hand and force you to explain some issues, either before you wanted to or even some issues you wished you never had to. But knowledge is power and you are really better off equipping your child with tools than leaving them unknowing and unprepared or, worse yet, misinformed from talking to a peer who has incorrect information.

If you find that a book is useful to you as a guide, I have written two that you may find useful. The first, Amazing You; Getting Smart About your Private Parts is for three to eight or nine year olds. The book covers all the body parts and how a baby grows in the uterus, but it does not contain anything about intercourse itself. The second book, Changing You: A Guide to Body Changes and Sexuality is for kids ages eight to ten through fourteen. It explains puberty and sexual intercourse. Both books address age-appropriate issues of not letting others touch you, sexual thoughts and masturbation. If your child won't read the book with you, give it to them to read on their own and then invite questions. Use this as a time to impart your own morals and values about sex as well. Kids may act like they don't hear you at times, but believe me, they are listening. They internalize your values, and studies show it impacts their decision-making greatly.

Please continue to write in with any problems of questions you have on this all-important topic.

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