Let the guys cry! It makes no sense for us to look down on them if they do. I like my man to be a little sensitive, not unemotional. I think it is so sexist to look down on all those men who are willing to show their feelings.

Mothers aren't the only ones who have to check for "real" tears.

There is a continuum of crying and some colleagues take it to the limit in order to manipulate to their advantage.

They deliver brutal honesty, but when confronted with it, dissolve into tears. Once they're recognized as one who does this, they are resented for attempting to use tears as tools.

It's not healthy for the workplace when one person regularly attempts to control the dynamics with drama and tears.

Employees who rely on tears as a frequent means of communication need to determine why they seek attention through tears. At some point they become a liability to the workplace. It's taxing for others to constantly offer support to one who is manipulating the situation.

The crier has the option of excusing herself in order to regain her composure, but that would defeat the purpose, which is to solicit sympathy.

The crier may not notice, but her colleagues begin to roll their eyes when tears start falling from hers.

As a person who has difficulty controlling her tears, I have to say that this was a very enlightening post. I have been taking anti-depressants for the better part of 12 years. Although I have a happy and successful life, I am prone to sadness and depression. I think that has a lot to do with being very emotionally sensitive. I feel others' emotions as if they were my own and I have been this way since I was a child. The older I get, the more I am able to control my emotions but there are still times in my life when it is impossible. Although I acknowledge the fact the some people do indeed use crying as a form of manipulation, I also believe some people are too quick to dismiss crying as a sign of weakness. What's wrong with being in touch with your emotions? At times, I have been embarassed that I was not able to stop crying at work or in public because I prefer to keep my feelings private but it makes the situation so much harder knowing that people look down on me. (cont)

Be a bigger person and realize that some people really do have lower thresholds for upset feelings. Offer your support, but also be willing to let the person who is crying calm his/herself. Crying is not a sign of weakness - stuffing your feelings because you don't want to deal with them is.

In every relationship where the man I was with cried at some point it was horrible. I know that I'm transferring... The first guy who cried smothered me, the second was abusive (physically and emotionally) and the third completely abandoned me. Had all of these things not happened in succession, I would not have a problem with crying and men. If my current boyfriend cried, I believe it would be a completely different scenario. We've known each other for a very long time and I think that allows us to trust each other enough to cry in front of each other - I have and he's wonderful.

I won't cry at work, I almost did and a coworker said that I shouldn't let them have my tears. (I work with oppositional defiant and behavior disorder kids.)

I have a 2 strange questions i far from think crying is a weakness but there do seem to be some who dont cry. I know sevral pepole will not give out names who instead of cry they harm them selfs. 1. Is this a form of crying? 2. If this iss a form of crying why srent tears used intead?

I like that a man will cry because for one, I think it's a very healthy release of emotion. My dad cried every year for Christmas as I was growing up. We all know how stressful Christmas can be. I never felt him to be any less of a man for it and I loved that side of him. It's those guys who hold their emotion all in and go around striking walls and punching/pushing their wives we should be more concerned of. Those ones who feel it's not "cool" to cry and tougher and more powerful to show rage. Plus, it helps open up to how he's feeling if he cries. Like letting you into a deeper side of his feelings. I always told my son while growing up that it's ok to cry. I'd rather he release all that tension than let it build.

RE: "crying is a weakness" .. I disagree! Just think of all of the strength it takes for a man to admit when he's down. To show it must be an act of bravery while other guys are scoffing. It takes a mighty strong person to open up his own wound

I cry. A lot. I feel emotions very strongly and cannot help it. I have cried at work, and it was horrible. I end up in the bathroom trying to dry tears that will not stop coming, all the while knowing that my co-workers are amusing themselves at my expense. Those words and actions of those same co-workers are usually what make the tears come. I also cry while watching some commercials, tv shows, and when someone around me is upset or emotional. The worst, I think, is crying when I am angry. I get so angry sometimes and want to express that, instead tears flow and people confuse my anger with sadness. I also have a history of depression and am frequently sad. I think some people are just wired that way, and to label them as manipulative is narrow-minded and wrong.

Informative.To say humans evolved is for me like saying god is not perfect and can not create perfection.Beigs how this cultuer has the roles of men to be interchangeable with women.I think crying is a way of showing that you are at an emoitional cross road in your mind.Fear of the unknown is the greatest fear of all.There fore most people dread the tears.

I believe that there is a chemical that is released when we shed tears. The release of that chemical supposedly makes us feel better. I have heard of physiological studies done on this but I cannot recall the chemical name.

Basically, I believe that society and some professionals view any release of feelings as somehow threatening or crazy. If the feelings are made known in a moderate fashion and at the proper time I believe that that is very healthy. I believe that it is crazy to have no feelings and no tears with some of the situations that we hear about these days. Again, moderation and timing are key factors. Simply stating a feeling about an issue or a situation can go a long way toward problem-solving. Showing our feelings through tears at times can go a long way to let people know that we are not perfect and thereby pull from others perhaps a level of compassion that heretofore they may have felt bereft of.

The safe expression of feelings can lead to closure. Sometimes meds can mask the process.

First, I would not have a problem with a man who cried. Nothing wrong with having true feelings. Second, I need to cry desparately! I push down my tears so much because it is never a good time. I'm either driving, at work, at home with a husband who wouldn't get it at all. I feel like I could burst sometimes. I know it's not good for me. In the next week I will have some alone time and I would like a very good cry. The tears are alwasys right there just waiting to come out. Someimes they do, a few, slowly. But I need a gushing cry.

Onions were a big hit.

Bruce

I hate to see my husband cry. I love him too much, and it always makes me cry too. But he hardly ever ever cries. Maybe once every few years. How one cries that rarely, I don't know. There have been times when he's gotten choked up and fought it, and I know he wants to but doesn't give in. Personally for me, I'm glad he doesn't, because it shakes me up when he cries.

I think part of that is because I want him to be strong and together and hold me together in all things and at all times, and if he really fell apart, I don't know how I would handle it.

But mostly I think it shakes me up to see him cry because a few years ago he had a patient die a tragic death, and he shut himself in a private room at the hospital and broke down and sobbed. A female coworker found him crying alone, and came in and comforted him. She ended up kissing him and he let her for a few moments, he was so distraught. He came home and told me what had happened right away, but this caused us a huge fight and a 2-week separation. We worked it out, but I will never forget that pain, so I have a bad association in my mind.