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Teens and Plastic Surgery
From nose jobs to liposuction to breast implants for high school graduation, there is a growing trend toward cosmetic surgery in teens and young adults. When a young girl wants her body surgically altered it’s time to ask what she feels is missing on the inside that she thinks can be fixed by operating on her outside?
Adolescence is certainly an emotionally turbulent time; one filled with questions of "Who am I?" and "Am I good enough?" and "How do I measure up to others?". It is not an easy time in development and sometimes the anxiety and frustration that being a teen can bring can feel downright overwhelming. A girl may look for somewhere to cast the blame for her unhappiness and insecurity. She may think, "If only my nose was smaller, my breasts bigger, my waist tinier then I would feel happy".
Of course if the problem is in fact internal conflict, depression and anxiety, then all the plastic surgery in the world isn't going to fix it. Sometimes a well-meaning parent in an effort to help relieve her daughter’s misery will collude with her in the idea that surgery will "make her feel better". Daughters read their mothers’ thoughts so well that it may further bolster her daughter’s wish for the surgical fix. Peer pressure also plays a big role. Girls may reinforce amongst each other outer beauty over inner, style over substance and a specific teen view of what constitutes beauty. Some girls are already on the path to body dysmorphic disorder (a psychiatric problem where a body part or area is seen in a distorted way) and of course surgery does not fix this either. A request for liposuction may be a symptom for an eating disorder.
Of course there are unusual circumstances where by there may be a truly difficult, albeit cosmetic, issue (for instance when one of a girl's breasts do not grow). In certain specific instances, plastic surgery may truly benefit a girl. However, I think it is important for parents to know that a teen’s brain is not fully developed until around age 20 or 22. A teen’s frontal lobe which houses judgment and consequence (“How will I feel about this surgery next year?”) is what lags behind. Parents need to help their children make decisions based not on physical attributes, but rather on understanding why their self esteem is suffering in the first place. If your child asks for surgery, I recommend you ask them why, what are they really trying to fix, where did they get the message that this is their key to happiness? Explore their value of themselves, what makes them proud, what makes them feel shame? If behind the request your teen is depressed, anxious, suffers low self esteem or has a truly distorted body image, consider an evaluation with a professional to sort out what is really driving their need for surgery.
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Rather than being the voices of common sense and mature guidance that parents once were, the parents of today instill in their children the shallow value system that they themselves are living by.
ADULT women are still asking themselves "Who am I?" "Am I good enough." and "How do I measure up to others?"
The mothers as well as the daughters are caught up in omnipresent media messages. How many magazine pages are devoted to substance over style? How many TV segments are dedicated to INNER beauty? How many movie actresses are demonstrating that substance matters MORE than style?
Does "the media" have a dysmorphic disorder...distorting their own culpability in this matter? How could they not know the damage they're causing? They report that "media messages" are noted by researchers as part of the problem.
Mothers who work in media should take a good look at the messages they're sending to all mothers... and daughters. If they live by "appearance over all", they are causing others to do the same.
There is a growing wave of anger among parents who are trying to raise children who are healthy emotionally and physically.
Their ire is aimed at the media.
How can responsible media executives sleep at night...knowing their companies are contributing to issues which endanger kids...emotionally and physically?
Do TV anchors actually expect us to believe that their motives are altruistic?
It appears that Meredith Vieira is out to make her mark by bringing up sex whenever possible...maintaining that it's always an innocent subject. How irresponsible to profess such naivete when she knows how many crimes are sexual in nature.
Vieira's monolithic view was seen on The Today Show this morning as she encouraged high school girls to read a passage from The Vagina Monologues which could have been the words of Britney Spears as she exited a car exposing her vagina to anyone who cared to look at the photos...including children.
The Today Show bills itself as family fare. This is NOT family programing!
My 20 yr old daughter and I enjoyed The Vagina Monologes. We've always referred to vaginas as vaginas.
The principal was right, however, in monitoring the content of a program which was open to young children.
It was the stanza which could have been interpreted as pro-promiscuity or pro-prostitution by young listeners:
""My short skirt is a liberation flag. I declare these streets, any streets my vagina country."
The 3 girls did not see the bigger issue beyond their narrow one. It seems that The Today Show didn't either. The anchor appeared to have an ax to grind.
Eve Ensler wasn't challenged when she said that the vagina is a body part just like hand or elbow. (Exposing a hand or elbow doesn't increase the risk of sexual molestation.)
Those in the field of education are to be commended for doing a difficult job. Vieira repeatedly challenged the principal's sound decision and nearly congratulated the girls for calling their lie "option c".
Vieira needs to look through a wider lens.
I AM ONLY 23 BUT I REMEMBER BEING 18 AND FLAT CHESTED.........LITERALLY I WAS FLAT CHESTED LIKE THE WALL.
I JOINED THE MILLITARY AND I TOOK BIRTHCONTROL PILL'S.
ALL THROUGHOUT BOOT CAMP I COULD TELL MY BREAST WHERE GROWING......
WHICH IN FACT THEY GREW 2 SIZES I WENT FROM A SIZE 34 A TO A 36 C
I CONTINUED TAKING BIRTH CONTROL PILLS AND MY BREAST GREW TO A SIZE 38DD.
UNFORTUNATELY MY BODY GREW TOO.
I WOULD EXERCISE AND WAS ON A DIET I STILL GAINED WEIGHT.....I FELT LIKE I WAS GOING THROUGH DEPPRESION .I DIDN'T WANT TO EAT ALL I WANTED TO DO IS SLEEP.AND SINCE I HAD MONEY SAVED UP..I WANTED TO GET LIPOSUCTION TO SUCK THE 40 POUNDS I PUT ON.
BUT I DECIDED TO GIVE IT ONE MORE TRY
I EXERCISED 2 TIMES A DAY FOR 30MIN
AND I CHANGED MY DIET .I LOST 32 POUNDS IN 6 MONTHS AND TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH IT WAS HARD.BUT IF I CAN DO IT SO CAN YOU.MY BREAST SEEMED TO STAY AT 38DD..NOW THAT I HAVE THEM I DON'T WANT THEM ANYMORE.MY HUSBAND DOESN'T LIKE THEM...AND THEY GET IN THE WAY OF MY RUNNING ROUTINE.
I do understand when you say that some girls do feel very insecure and see their body differently than it is actually to other people, as that is the case with every teen in one way or another.
But when you said it may be about themselves feeling unhappy with certain things in life, there could also be other things, such as getting teased.
I myself have a bump on my nose that is quite a lot bigger than the average bumps teenagers fuss over and throughout my school years (note I'm only in grade 9 , so starting around grade 2, when the children start noticing others looks more) I have gotten comments on it.
Comments such as "cant it be fixed?" or the nickname stork, as it was like a beak to people. Girls sometimes are the worst for saying rude things too, as most it's like a competition, who's more beautiful than the other, it's truely ridiculous. I went through the comments thinking that in a few years that I would just grow into my nose, yet after a while I didnt feel as hopeful, and thought that maybe surgery could help me. Maybe the surgery could be a way to relieve the pain and stress the people have caused me and that maybe I wouldn't be called any more names. See, I can understand just working out and getting fit when someone is overweight and working on the issue in a healthy manner but when its a place where you cannot fix it yourself, then what do you do?
I do agree with the thought that teenagers at the age of 16 or under and getting surgery on their body done isn't very smart on either the parent or the child's part, as some are still growing and it may not be the right time. But at 18 I think they are their own adults and should be mature enough to make a proper decision.
So when people say it may be on media or on inner unhappiness, I do agree as everywhere we face we see anther pressure from the media, but also it may be the unhappiness of other people that affect you because you are the target of it. I've learned to live with my nose, and I've come to realise its a matter of character, but still, words hurt, and I think the way other children talk to eachother about their flaws, or differences is rude and unkind and they should just be accepting that the differences we have from eachother are what makes us who we are.
It equates to feeding children sand, and it's not healthy to eat sand.
Bruce
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