On the Couch with Gail Saltz, M.D. | A Mental Health Blog at iVillage.com

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Racism AND Sexism
This morning I appeared on the TODAY show as part of a panel to discuss Don Imus' disparaging comment about the women's Rutgers basketball team. There was much debate and discussion this morning with consensus that his comment was horribly racist even while there was disagreement about what the punishment should be.
What I have found really surprising and disturbing is that no one is really discussing the sexism of his comment. Calling a group of young women athletes who have worked hard and had exceptional success "ho's" is mean, degrading, insulting and undermining. I find it very disturbing that no one is stepping up strongly to say that this kind of degrading sexism is also completely unacceptable. It makes me wonder what the male leaders who are outraged by his comments think about this form of prejudice. Doesn't the discussion of hate, prejudice and lack of equality need to address references to women which are sadistic and intended to keep women down?
Don't we as a society need to be concerned about ALL intolerance? Prejudice comes out of ignorance and fear of anyone who is different from oneself. It is society's job as a whole to work towards understanding one another and our differences. It is our job to teach each other and our children that it is wrong to be cruel and degrading to others. If you watch children at a playground you will see that to some degree it is part of human nature to be aggressive to one another, and that it is our parents, teachers and other authority figures that help children to learn that being sadistic to each other is wrong and will not be tolerated. Sometimes adults have not learned these lessons and sometimes their sadism and fear of others makes their prejudice grow. It is still society's job to be clear in their message that such cruelty will not be tolerated and this should be true regardless of whether the differences are about race, religion, socioeconomic status, education level, appearance, sexual orientation or gender.
Only by continuing the conversation, working towards ensuring equal opportunity, and understanding what breeds prejudice in the first place can we evolve toward a society of acceptance and mutual respect.
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Yes, it is indeed surprising and disturbing that comments such as this are not exposed for what they are... males thinking that they can continue to degrade women(regardless of color) without consequence.
It happens often on The Today Show. Matt and Al frequently comment on the "physical attributes" of young women appearing on the program. They have the control room rerun footage of scantily clad girls as all the men participate in laughter. What message does this send to young girls? Married men making lewd remarks about females. It appears to be condoned on NBC as well as MSNBC.
Meredith Vieira encourages the behavior with her sexual rhetoric. Many stopped watching "The View" when she began to refer to her colleagues as hos, sluts and bitches.
Some in the media are attempting to paint those who don't separate the schtick from the schticker as unsophisticated..lacking show business savvy. They expect the public to applaud the fact that they make millions for propagating the exploitation of girls?
The fact that Imus has enjoyed the tacit approval of so called serious journalists has led him to believe that there was no line to cross...no boundaries...no borders. In his mind his radio kingdom is more vast than the Imus ranch...the one financed by his radio "guests"...protection money, if you will, which buys them favor with King Imus. The network doesn't seem to realize that these journalists lose credibility when they're heard being so irreverent.
Now the king is trying to play the ranch card again. He extorts funding for the ranch which bears his name from those who share his fame and together they use the venture to wash their indiscretions away..and to provide them prepaid tickets to continue to do what they do.
If they want to use the word ho, why don't they research how many girls in this country are being referred to as such after being lured into prostitution? The media might as well be paid by pimps as accomplices, as they are creating a climate of acceptance for the exploitation of kids.
It is despicable to see journalists whose fame and fortune are tied to Don Imus hammering away at those who are holding Imus accountable....attempting to secure REDEMPTION for Imus....because that redemption would:
1) boost their status in the eyes of Imus
2) give them an inside joke to laugh about when they resume their appearances on the Imus show
3) give them and fellow journalists reason to high five each other over drinks
4) loosen the standards by which they can continue to operate
What kind of fools do you take us for? It's insulting!
Dr. Saltz, I really do not understand why it was surprising many people did not focus on the "ho" part of the terrible remark Don Imus made on his show. The remark was not made to all women of all races. The remark was made to African - American woman. He did not say " those ho's". Get it? He said " nappy headed ho's". I don't care if you are a white psychologist, lawyer, physician or journalist. If you are not an African - American woman, you will not "get it". I do not expect you to. You have proved you don't get it by stating you do not understand why people were not disturbed by the sexist comment. It was a RACIST comment. He was talking about BLACK women.
So, as a woman, I shouldn't be offended that he called these women hos? (I am both Native and Causasian American, for full disclosure, and both of my neices are bi-racial) They are also Asian, Latina and Caucasian women on that team. Should they be less offended for themselves and their teammates? Would it more acceptable to you if he had said "preppy white b*tches"? Why is it more acceptable if these vile insults are lyrics by Ludacris, Akon or 50 Cent? They type of language should be abhorred no matter who says it.
A slur again a subset of women, be they a basketball team, a racial group or lesbians, IS a slur again ALL women.
On The Today Show, Meredith Vieira interviewed Al Sharpton regarding the Imus issue. She said that like him, she has a teenaged daughter and is concerned about the language teens are hearing in lyrics. She angrily asked Sharpton when the filth was going to stop.
It is hard to believe that Vieira's outrage is genuine. After all, there is a significant amount of evidence showing that she is one who embraces the coarsening of the culture.
While on The View, Vieira used the same language heard in Hip Hop music. She provided Wesley Snipes a lap dance. Vieira has also attempted to bring The Today Show content down to that level.
The Rutgers coach pointed out that it is up to adults to guide youth in a positive direction. Vieira is one of the adults who have allowed the culture to get to this point.
NBC has to look at their pattern of allowing appropriate programming to be infiltrated by harmful messages. The network is losing viewers because integrity is missing from their personalities and their content.
I am concerned about and deplore the racist and sexist remarks made by Imus and agree that society needs to recognize what messages we give to our young people when we tacitly allow such language and ideas.I, too, wonder where are the Revs. Sharpton and Jackson when studios produce music that I am embarrassed and ashamed to let my grandchildren listen to? Where are the pickets outside the music studios? I believe that Gail is right on when she points out that the remark Imus made was also sexist. The reason the pickets aren't outside the music studios is because the music makers are men--in many cases even black men who do not respect women whatever the color.
If someone were feeding our kids poison, would we argue that he had a right to do it because others had done it before him?
Why is the debate over who has a right to deliver the poison and not the fact that the poison is harmful?
If we found that our plate of healthy vegetables contained poison, would we say, "Well, the vegetables are healthy." and continue to ingest.
Why are the journalists (who made their names on the Imus program) frantically attempting to absolve Imus of responsibility...saying that his program was one of quality? Are they trying to convince themselves that their appearances elevated the tone of racism, sexism and misogyny?
How many times have Imus and his friends used the word charity in the past week? Al Capone gave to charity. It looks as if journalists bought into what Imus (and Al) believed...that high profile charitable acts excuse all else. In fact, Imus disciples made sure that their contributions to his charities were mentioned.
They profited more than they gave.
This post is to the person who had a problem with my being offended by the particular term used by Imus. THE FACT IS
Don Imus DID NOT use the term "Preppy white b***ch. He said "nappy headed ho". He was specifically speaking to black women. I do not care if there were one or two white women on the team. When was the last time anyone has heard the term "nappy headed " used toward a white woman? NEVER. So please, do not try to change the subject. There has been a long history of a DIFFERENT kind of racism that has been geared toward African Americans. If that weren't the case, then racism toward African Americans would not be such a touchy subject. The moment anyone says anything against any other group of people no one has a problem if someone has been fired because of it. The moment vile language has been hurled at black people everyone wants to know what the big deal is. I don't care if you are both native and caucasian. YOU ARE NOT BLACK. CASED CLOSED!!!!!!!!!
If our most Top Ranked Officials can allow hatred for Iraq People allow and continue to allow inhumane annihilation of those peoples PLUS our own beloved Military, how can we possibly set any moral standards before our youngsters to follow? Our own national dignity and pride is punctured daily because we know in hearts a sanctioned killer offers no palliative for grief acts of sadisctc murders, no mattter WHO does it.
I am glad that he was let go. His comments were degrading and racist..period. He should be held accountable,including have consequences when he makes such slanderous statments. It is degrading to all women and it is not ok or acceptable to have women,men or a race degraded in any forum.
I too believe it is sad that the issue of his comment being sexist as well as racist has been so quickly glossed over. Don't get me wrong, racism is horrible and is still very much a part of our society, but what bothers me is what if he hadn't implied a race at all? Would we have ever heard about his comments if they were "only" sexist? Probably not. Discrimination is never right, but women have suffered it and continue to suffer it far more consistently then any other group. But what can we really expect? We live in a country were we as women are told to and expected to tolerate our men looking at porn, going to strip clubs, and paying for lap dances because "it doesn't hurt anything" and even the good Dr. here has been guilty of perpetuating this idea. Crude words like ho & *itch - again, acceptable?! As long as men can objectify women in so many ways, they will degrade them in other ways. As long as we are willing to turn a blind eye to "boy being boys", we will stay second class citizens, regardless of race.
Isn't that a shame - that married men openly comment on women's body parts on the media - enough TODAY SHOW for me. Thank goodness for the OFF BUTTON. Is that so the guys can laugh and say "hubba hubba" - boys will be boys? Enough! Act like the men you would want your daughter, wife and mother to be around and the world may change to a more decent place FOR WOMEN. We women are tired of the sleasy, war-torn mess you are making out of our world! Show women some respect before your daughter goes to you to ask "why are men such pigs?"; because they will treat her like that. Treat others how you want to be treated. There are 220 UGLY NEGATIVE WORDS MEN HAVE USED TO CALL US, INSTEAD OF CALLING US DAUGHTERS, WIVES AND MOTHERS. Maybe it is a twisted Oedipal thing - little boys can't have Mommy - so we must push her away. But we need women for sex - so it must be tough to hate us so much but need us so badly for sex! Such hatred toward women must be stopped ...
We know intuitively when it is time to leave. I was so unhappy in my marriage for five long years and when I started to act weird and think silly things, something happened that showed me the need to remove myself from this very long relationship. He was and is a good man, but oh so boring! I was growing ... had a great business and was very successful. Our children were at university and all he wanted to do in the evening was sit and watch tv ... whereas I wanted to go for walks with the dog etc. I later learned that he had a huge tumour on his adrenal gland that had taken away his zest for life (but this was much later, after we had split). He was kind, thoughtful and a good dad, but the time had come for us to go our own ways after 23 years. Since, he has remarried a much younger woman and had two babies (oh my god, starting again at fifty something ...!) and I have remarried ... to a kind and wonderful man who I have worked hard to build a strong relationship with. We talk. We laugh. We love.
I am surprised that hatred towards each other, as women, still lingers so fervently and that instead of coming together to make ourselves more viable members of society towards positive change, we instead cast one another down and say that one group has it better or worse than any other. I agree that racism does exist - towards African-Americans, caucasians, Latin Americans, Native Americans, etc. I think that bitterness is difficult to overcome, and there is often a very real cause for it, but that does not make it any more effective in overcoming adversity - quite the opposite. Don's comments were wholly improper and completely eggregious, true, but the sexism was directed at ALL of the team - though I know we can deal in generalities all we want, nobody would have been applauding if he had called the white members of the team "white-trash bleach-headed ho's" either. As for the rampant racism and sexism in music, we must demand respect of ourselves by ACTING and SPEAKING respectfully.
I have been called a "cracker" but I am obviously not one. Kudos to you for your content.
Bruce