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Back to School Stress
A recent survey by the Associated Press found that young people feel 10% more stress than adults. Their number one source of stress: going back to school! With classes back in session across the country, I came on TODAY to discuss some of the emotional and behavioral stresses that your children may face in elementary school, middle school, and high school.
This is a list of the most common issues faced by children entering school at each particular grade level:
Pre-K Through Grade School
- Separation Anxiety
- Learning Disorders
- Social Issues
Middle School
- Bullying, Cliques & Peer Pressure
- Academic Pressures
- Physical Experimentation
High School
- Sex, Drugs & Alcohol
- Depression & Anxiety
- Eating Disorders
- College Concerns
I don't want to freak parents out… not all of this will happen to every kid! In fact, a recent survey found that kids are, for the most part, happy and actually just want to spend time with their parents, believe it or not! When asked what makes them most happy, 20% of kids chose spending time with family more than anything else. About three-quarters, 73%, said their relationship with their parents makes them happy.
At the same time, young people in this survey had a 10% higher stress rate than adults did in a 2006 AP poll. For ages 13 to 17, school is the greatest source of stress. It's important to remember that every person has strengths and weaknesses. Everyone has something they are great at, and something that they have to work on. You can lessen the chance of your child becoming overwhelmed if you are aware of these things that stress them out.
Let’s face it- kids are going to have things that stress them out... some more than others. All age groups have potential for emotional unrest, but if you can see what's going on, you can help them stay cool under pressure. There are things that are difficult in each age group. If you are paying attention and listening to your child you can see red flags and hopefully help reduce the effects of those stressors.
Some ways to stay on top of all this include:
- Look for the red flags or warning signs that we mentioned.
- Keep communicating with your child, even if it doesn't seem to be coming from the other side.
- Don't be hesitant to get extra help. Parents are so afraid to call a therapist, but you can see a therapist without your kids... just get some advice!
- Stay involved with your kids' school. Just knowing what's going on at school will help you put together a clearer picture.
What do you think? Are kids feeling too much stress?
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I think kids today have much more stress than we used to. I think it's very important to talk to your kids and let them vent to you so they don't bottle up their feelings.
Great advice as always, Gail!
I am trying to get my daughters high school to implement a study hall period for juniors taking 4 AP classes, and sports. These students are very stressed and appling to college at the same time.
That sounds like a great idea, maryann! Our kids are so overworked and overscheduled!
Please post a link to the video clip from the Today show. There are usually comments I hear there that I'd like to pass along that aren't available online.
I think it takes them a while to get the video online or something... they're normally up after lunchtime.
I've worked with kids for the last 15 years. Kids are more and more stressed. It's no wonder they are stressed when there are kids being interviewed for preschool at 10 months old (yes, the kid is being interviewed before he can talk). It is my hope that as a society, we are beginning to wake up to this "stress" epidemic and its effects on our younger generation. I believe we our beginning to reap the consequences of our âdo, do, do â go, go, goâ culture. âBusynessâ and this narrowly defined pursuit of âsuccessâ has become our addiction. As a culture, we have lost our way to the path of a simple life and our children are clearly following suit. They no longer have the luxury of âbeing childrenâ. I'm a life coach for teenagers and it amazes me how ready teens are to simplify their lives and enjoy it!
I have a first grader that went for a preschool/kindergarten setting of maybe 60 children to a school that has 700+ children. She is not eating hardly any of her lunch and has had days saying she is feeling sick and shouldn't go to school. Not to mention at the other school everyone took turns when coming to play time and here at this school a lot more of the children are street smart and too advanced for my liking. What can I do for her?
Parents wanting to live through their kids is a significant factor in the stress kids feel today.
Some parents want to be able to say that their kids have been accepted by Harvard..in order to perpetuate a legacy or start one.
Some parents will go into debt to clothe their kids in threads they could never afford in their own teen years.
Some parents will push their daughters into cheerleading, living vicariously through them at games.
Some parents even party with their kids.
Many parents view their kids as the possibility to fill in the blanks they feel they missed in their own youth..striving for popularity and power they have yet to experience.
Parents pursuing superficial signs of success put stress on kids who are being forced to use their energy to accumulate that which is ultimately meaningless.
The exclusive diploma, the exclusive bumper sticker, the exclusive label...parents are teaching kids that this is all they need to succeed in life. Stress results when kids find it's not enough.
I think much of the stress that children face comes from the parents. We overschedule these poor kids until they can't see straight, and then we wonder why they are crying or hyperactive. Kids need freeplay, structure, good food and love. If you have the basics down, a healthy family unit can overcome just about anything.
Great segment, Dr. Saltz!
We have had so much stress from schools because over the years Teachers never with my son's Learning disabilities and Being Bullied so much. We had to go with an online school this year. I think he's enjoying it much better now!
This site is a lot of fun very well designed.
hi iam a 16 year old girl at FDA7 and school is the biggiest reson why i strss. i feel that if i do not pass a class that i am going to let the people i love down and that they are going to get mad and upset at me . it like they ggive me no room to fail and if i do its the end of the world . i told my mom that i had got an 85 on an test and all she said was that next time you could do better and that made me feel so bad .
Some of our children's fondest memories are the days before class starts. It would be a crime to treat children any differently at these times.
Bruce
You can call it stress if you want, but what emerges from school-related events should be looked on as challenges. And you can measure the health of the child by his level of activities. If he is just at home playing computer games and munching, then he is coping, and is in BIG trouble. If he is engageg in sports or healthy social gatherings (that's school dances or plays, as opposed to bike gang meetings) then he is releasing tensions and developing. Beware the child who learns his pressure release techniques from parents who just cope themselves. Go on those vacations together.