Thank you for clarifying that the research indicating that the human brain may not be fully developed until the early twenties IS NOT A REASON FOR PARENTS TO EXCUSE ANY AND ALL ACTIVITY UNDERTAKEN BY THEIR TEENAGED KIDS!

It IS a reason to not lower the drinking age...legally or in the eyes of parents who serve alcohol at teen parties.

It's also a reason to ensure that kids are FULLY aware of the consequences of irresponsible behavior...be it reckless driving, reckless sexual activity, reckless spending or reckless bullying.

Is there ANY research to explain why some parents are not exercising their own frontal lobes? Why are some mothers and fathers seeking instant gratification themselves, modeling the behavior for their offspring to emulate?

Seriously, is there a study to explain why adults are striving to be the "cool parent" rather than the responsible parent? Why are some parents going so far as to have sex with friends of their kids? Why are boundaries no longer observed by parents or the media?

i have two teens who want speech to me now because i didn't suppose their bad decisions do i just leave them alone ages 18 and 19 both moved in with boyfriend and girlfriends parents this is so hard but that will not listen to anything me or their father have to say

where do i go for help with 2 teens who moved in with their boyfriend and girlfriend parents will not speak to us because we don't support their decisions they are 18 and 19 want answer calls,texts,etc. are very disrespectful i haven't seen my daughter in a year but i have to stand by what is right i will not be disrespected by her and her boyfriend she was raised in a very lovin home with good morals please i need help

There have been instances of fraud where diagnosis of a mental health disability is used as a deterrent for young adults when they are older. The proper information rarely gets to the young adult, and an unfair advantage is obtained by the doctor and the parent when certain entitlements are withheld from the adult children.

This is an example of the results of what you are discovering to the public.

Bruce

Are college administrators familiar with this study? Why is there not more supervision on college campuses in particularly as it involves underage drinking? At my daughter's campus, the peer mentors, who are paid by the school, host parties where 18-20 year olds are served and supplied alcohol. And these are the leaders of the school! The school does not enforce its own supposed rules. They, rather, turn a blind eye and preach "responsible" drinking. As a parent who has raised my child not to drink, I feel so alone when I have no support among the other parents or the school. I can't be with her all the time. Why can't I count on other adults and institutions to at least support me?

Dr. Gail-- thank you for your educational broadcast on the Today show--- I hope that you may be interested in participing on my non-profit educational psychology radio show, Empowering Our Children, in the near future. For over two years, our mission is to educate and guide families whose children and adolesecents struggle to be the best they can be....please visit my website www.empoweringourchildren.com to learn more, and listen to podcasts of prior broadcasts and visit our resources... I hope to create additional awareness of our mission, and would be honored to have you participate---We air live every Tuesday from 3-4pm (CST) and are rebroadcast in California and soon in Arizona-- Families can interact with Dr. Stephen H. Blum and our guests via e-mail or call-in with our mental health experts-- and we have not discussed your topic, which is important!! Thank you-- please contact me at rpcerny@aol.com!!

Is there an article on how to get fathers to enforce these limits on the teenage children when they are being manipulated emotionally by their sons? I would like more information about that if available...

Thanks so much for this info. My
daughter is researching for a paper for
college and this will fit nicely w/her
topic about why 18 yr olds should not
be required to find their on health
insurance if they aren't fulltime students. Your article may help her prove they aren't ready to be independent in ALL areas @ 18! Thanks!

It must be an epidemic of parents allowing 18 yr olds to move in with their son or daughters. I have one too who moved in with boyfriends parents and then gets pregnant and those parents are like, "What, you want money from us to have an abortion". Do you think those same parents would be there to provide support to raise that child? Who would want them to! Help! I also feel helpless and totally agree that 18 year olds don't have the brains to deal with real life issues and ready to take over on their own, but society and schools give them that right. Schools even go so far as to not allow parents to know what is going on with their child if the child says not to tell parents. That is what happened to us! Prayer is all that I am doing because it is in God's hands now. Hope that helps!

Good site! Good resources here, All the best!

why does kids don't listen?

I've noticed a lot of people complaining about 18 yr olds moving in with girl/boyfriends. Really that's nothing a parent has control over. 18 yr olds are legal adults.

I understand what Dr. Gail is trying to say, but honestly, I also believe that a lot of parents get overzealous with supervision. If you keep a tiger in a small cage for too long, once it has the opportunity to break free, it will abuse the opportunity to its fullest.

A lot of teens are blamed for their reckless behaviour, but on that same note, they can't completely be at fault. Parents can't use these studies to blame every incident on their child. Maybe it's their parenting as well, ne?

After all, when I was a teen, I was very well behaved, and I respected my mother for trusting me, so I rarely abused her trust. On the other hand, I was never listening to my father, because his "rules" were unnecessarily strict and he never trusted me even when I proved myself capable.

Maybe I'm just bitter, but I think parents need to be a bit more trusting

Just a correction, the above comment is addressed to NJ (not NW). But regardless of my spelling, you're still an obsessed sicko.

I've noticed that journalists ask all sorts of questions, of all sorts of people, addressing all sorts of issues, with nothing off limits. I'm not bothered when the same questions are asked concerning journalists, who are not off limits either.

The title of this subject is the teen brain. Not whether someone has a right to question a journalist about her personal choices. Mind your own business and focus on the topic at hand.

I like Michael Jackson and all families should look to Joe Jackson for parenting advice. No exceptions. We gotta get out of the steel mills here people!

My 18 yr. old son has always been difficult; has seen doctors his entire life and has attended two wilderness programs (one was a lock-down) and been asked to leave four private schools. His ADHD ODD diagnosis never prepared us for the challenges we face. When he turned 18 he insisted upon staying home. We homeschooled him with unbelievable resistance on his part (he kept breaking the tutor appointments so he could sleep). He did earn hi GED but them began getting in trouble with the law; staying out all night ("You can't make me come in!"). He was caught with a BEE BEE gun in his car; caught speeding; went through a stop sign and made several faklse 911 calls to cops. This is all serious stuff in New Jersey and he could go to jail. The judge gave him a temporary sentence of working at a special camp in N.C. Now he is blowing out of there because he won't follow their rules. We want him to stay out of our home as he steals but filing a restraining order is hard in NJ. We want the best for him. Ideas?? Kris

When your child reachs 13 I believe a parent needs to let
go alittle and trust your teen. I know this can be hard. A teen must learn responsibility and must learn how to set self limits so that when they reach 18 they don't go wild. At 18 a teen is considered an adult so they can make their own decisions, and of course we want good decisions to be made.
Of course if a bad decision is made then the parents need to talk to the teen and imposed limits might be needed.
Sheltering a teen to much will prevent the them from learning every day life in the world.

Cheryl

Have 17 year old son who is hard to handle. Single parent household, father and I have joint custody. Father sees weekly and speaks to son every day. The dad doesn't want to discipline. Never wants to be the bad guy. I call to inform dad of teens bad behavior his response "you have no control" but he never wants to step up to the plate to discipline. My teen always breaks 10:30pm curfew, says it's too early and he doesn't have enough freedom. In trouble at school with nasty mouth. My teen is a very difficult person. Love him with all my heart but don't like him. He can be nasty and rude. When I ground him my home is in an uproar...yelling, doors slam etc. I want to physically put his head through the wall he gets me so angry. How does one get teen to respect, and obey parent?

BB

Look, stop your confusion. If you are doing what is right don't question it. (You know in your gut.) Life is choices. Kids are going to follow their peers, despite what mom , dad say. I don't like it, but it's reality. If they move out, love them, if they screw up , we still love them. We are unconditional, never ending warm arms of love. Just grow with it, and don't give up. Your kid is the best thing that ever happened.

My 17 year old stepdaughter was manipulative, a chronic liar, a thief, was sexually promiscuous and never saw anything wrong with her behavior when confronted. We got her therapy, but, most of the time the therapist was too easily conned by her and she even fooled one into thinking that she was being abused! We moved her around and finally found one who saw the signs and tested her for personality disorders. We finally found out that she has anti-social, narcissistic and histrionic personality disorder. They said there is no cure, and that she will likely always be this way, but may get a little better with therapy for the rest of her life. When she turned 18 she moved out and ran off with somebody she met on "my space". We havent heard from her in several months, and it has broke our hearts. We need to do more research on why these disorders happen and find some better ways to help those people who are suffering as well as their families.

How terrible for stepdad.
All parenting and teen relationships are different. I am a stepdad, and am told by the women of this multi-family situtation, that I do not teach for IO am not a teacher? This house is horrible with the misuse of the classic reverse psychology trick. In this house it is do as you wish, for the teenage kids. And sad to say the women only appreciate there advice, I am just here for the formality, sort of like a fake daddy which I hve heard. This house cannot appreciate any man for guidance or instruction.
I do believe in early responsibilities for children, and on thing I now see in my 3 yr old, is talking to her about everything. I always give explanations rather than just no. I also agree you cannot hold a tiger in a cage, you do have to let go. Sadly though parenting and adolsence are not cut and dried. There is no perfect manual, even religion can make a teen choose to be bad.
Still even the best examples by parents can yield a wayward teen.
May peace be with you