I loved hearing your story but wasn't surprised. My husband and I have been together since high school; Thirty Years and counting! There will always be characteristics in both of us that burn the nerves. Several times I have asked him why he "puts up with me" and he always says that those are the things that make me unique and he wouldn't change a thing, I feel the same way. I don't understand it and can't explain it but Love is funny that way.

The other aspect that we make sure to take advantage of is keeping our kids aware of this phenomenon. We don't want our children to grow up expecting to find the perfect mate, to have a trouble free marriage, or to live happily ever after. Hopefully the each will be lucky enough to find someone and be as happy as we are but human beings always seem to disagree over one thing or another, especially if they live together.

Our children each know there are things about one another that "drive us mad" but also that we love each other with a passion that knows no bounds. The two are not mutually exclusive. Compassion, compromise, understanding, patience.

Thank you.

I don't know about all that I have been with my husband (not married all this time only for the past 7 years and I could tell you that I want to leave now more than ever. As mean as it sounds I deserve alot better than his verbally Disturbed words everyday of my life...He is 13 years older than me and I can honesty say I really want to leave anyone got any thoughts on this.. Please

Sincerely,
Becky Colombo

I have been married for 22yrs and for 22yrs my husband acted extrodinarily loving and wonderful to me. My husband is 44yrs and I am 43yrs old. A week prior to this past valentines day he was telling our three lovely children 22yrs, 20yrs and 16yrs old how excited he was about the valentine gift he was making for me. He even solicited the three of them to help him. Needless to say just a meer one week later he tells me that he met a 51 yr old half black/Indian woman on line, chatted for a week, met up and had sex on the day they met and that he didn't want to be married any more. He told me this person he slept with has never been married, and has no desire to be married, has children by other men and is a grandmother. What a sleeze! When I asked him how he knows that she isn't doing this very same thing with other men he says because "she told him she isn't". Like you can tell someone is telling the truth after one week on the internet and a night of sex on the first day you meet. He also said this woman knows he is married with children but that she doesn't care. Obviously this person has no morals. She has probably tought her own children and grandchildren these same morals. He further tells me that he has been looking and meeting up with other women for 21 or our 22yrs of marriage together but that he never had sex with any of them because when he tried to have sex with them none of them were interested, this women he is with now is the first woman he has met up with in 22yrs who was interested in sleeping with him. I feel that he only stayed with me because he couldn't find anyone else so to find someone else he lowered his standards and found this woman. The thing is; I don't mean to sound conceited cause I am not, but I am hot, I am 5' tall, and weight 100lbs, I work out every single day and I look at least 15yrs younger than I am. I am also successful as a nurse. He states his reason is because he needs Intimacy, attention and of course SEX! Our kids and I agree that he has been getting plenty of attention. As far as sex goes; the truth is that he is extremely small both in length and width, and has never been able to make up for that in other ways. He also has premature ejaculation and can't stay hard afterward. He tried to please me with oral sex but he would not shave prior to and he would make my vaginal area so raw that I would bleed and be sore for days. He simply wasn't courteous in the bedroom but expected me to continue to put out for him. Our kids are extremely angry about this as they say he is not the man he has lead us all to believe he is. He spent 22 years preaching to our sons to "respect" women, all the while disrespecting their mother. Our daughter tells me that she loves the man he once was or the man she thought he was but that she doesn't love the man he is showing us he really is and has been. Its a sad situation. My lawyer says he is going through a midlife crisis. Needless to say when his crisis is over he will be all alone as I won't take him back because our children have made it clear they will have little respect for me if I do.

After reading those comments...WOW!! What I know for sure is that people change. No one is exempt from change. Additionally, no one truly knows another person or her/himself for that matter. Love is powerful and love is painful. Pain is information. Deal with the emotional side of love and pain then get over it if you're unhappy or unfulfilled by a spouse. Fill your time and purpose with things you like to do and/or hobbies/people/places which will make you happy or at least hold your interests. If that gets complicated, get a puppy. A dog loves unconditionally, misses you when you're gone and return, a dog never tells your secrets and very seldom change like humans.

Men go through mid-life crisis, women experience menopausal symptoms that could upset the delicate balance of relationships as early as your mid-thirties, but what can you do? Learn to be friends if nothing else. When romantic love fades (and it will) you have a friend for life if you were friends from the start with your spouse. Marriages aren't as much about children as it is about a relationship between two people who want to care for each other and want to share life experiences together or apart.

Have a backbone people! Life is too short to sulk, whine, complain, be unhappy and/or be selfish by living a double life. If you don't like your spouse, tell her/him. Be honest. If you're not satisfied with certain aspects of your marriage then replace it with healthy, interesting and fulfilling/positive changes that takes the pressure off you both but especially you. No one is born joined at the hips except maybe Simese twins and sometimes they want to be separated.

My husband was caught talking to this girl and text messaging this girl (who we turned in a complaint about to the supervisors at work)behind my back. When I found out I felt very betrayed. When I asked him who he has been talking to for so long he said his exwife. I found out the truth. I feel very hurt by it and feel I can no longer trust him.

Becky then why don't you leave him if he is being verbally abusive to you. Nasty words can hurt just as much as physical abuse. If he refuses to go get counseling for his anger issues you should leave him. Why put yourself thru that. That kind of abuse eats away at your self esteem and will leave you broken.

Smurf
If he's been trying to cheat on you all those years you don't need him back. Your kids are right. He has lost their respect and even they see how stupid he is being by running off with some biatch he barely knows. Midlife crisis or not. I hope you find someone who respects you enough to treat you right cause it sure ain't him. He will be the sorry one when he comes crawling back and nobody wants him.