I have a 12 year old daughter that absolutely does not want to talk to me about this kind of stuff. I have explained menstruation to her simply because I wanted her to know to expect it and to not be afraid when it happened. I asked her if any of the girls in her class have started their period, which I would think some of them have, and she said she doesn't know because they don't talk about it.
I've not really tried to delve in to sexual conversations simply because she is so uncomfortable when I bring it up. I want her to feel comfortable talking with me about it, I'd like for our relationship to be open so she feels like she can come to me later when things are more serious.

How can I approach this subject without making her so uncomfortable? I feel like she is at the age where she needs accurate information.

Thank you.

I have three children and my daughter is the oldest, 9 years old. She is fixated on how a baby actually fis through a vagina. She is getting kind of whigged out about it, my husband says that isnt a question for him! and I just cant even begin to explain it.. Help!!

My daughter is 8. I do fairly well covering her questions but at what age is most appropriate to cover the "bigger" items as intercourse or menstration?

I have a 13 year old son, he says he has a girlfriend and I would like to believe that it is not that serious but he is at that age where his body is changing and I am starting to worry about the whole sex issue. He is pretty open with me, but when I've asked him questions about sex in a casual manner he looks at me like I'm crazy. How can I approach this topic so that he takes me seriously but at the same time I don't scare him off or he does'nt start to feel like he can't come to me anymore?

Thanks

I have two young boys 9 & 7 and I believe a little bit sheltered because they're homeschooled. My younger boy has always been the one with the hard questions. How do I know how much to answer when they ask questions? When do you stop with the information?

I found a quiz recently on my 13 year-old daughter's facebook page that contained the words (pardon the bluntness) "suck cock." She answered the question and noted, "but I don't know what suck cock means." Boy, is that a hard pill to swallow! We've had "the talk" but I did it the way I've heard it suggested by counselors and psychologists - by sticking to biological names for parts and actions, and by leaving out the slang terms. I know she hears words like this at school - and probably worse than that on facebook. I don't want her to be made fun of (or get into trouble) because she doesn't understand what a slang term means, but I appreciate her naivety (since she is only 13 and has no business even imagining sucking anything). We talk very openly and casually about most things, but I was a teenage mother and I feel (for some reason) that going beyond the basics in "the talk" would leave her with the impression that it's not a serious matter. How far should I go in explaining slang and how can I avoid feeling like I'm corrupting her innocent little mind?

I don't have my own children, but my BF's oldest daughter is opening up with me and part of our conversations are about sex. I talk to my BF and he's okay with me talking to her. My Mom didn't share anything with me and I don't want her figuring this out on her own. Being raised by a Single Father does put her at a bit of a disadvantage. So here is my ? - When do you know a teen is in over their head. Or getting to close to trouble? Are there any signs?

Thanks Kris.

My 8 year old daughter has told me on several occasions that she is ready to know what sex is. I keep putting it off, knowing that it will scare her. She is definitely not ready for the whole explanation of sex. I am thinking that an age appropriate book is a good start. Can you provide a guideline as to how much I should be telling a child going into 4th grade.

Thank you,

Catherine

I'm not anxious about talking with my child about sex, however, at 11, she gets so embarrassed when I bring the topic up that she basically covers her face and won't look at me or listen. How can I break through her embarrassment long enough to get her to have a conversation with me? She is very open with me about everything else in her life and this puzzles me.

I have three kids, my oldest girl will be 8 next month. I've been good about talking openly about body parts and she knows that a baby can be born by csection or vaginally, but that is it. She hasn't asked any questions, but I'm starting to wonder if I just need to tell her and what to tell her. I can't seem to find any guidelines or resources that I feel comfortable with. I need some good books for us to read together and guidelines for her age. I don't want her to be so in the dark and embarrassed by everything like I was at that age.

For Carlotta: Can't you just tell your daughter that the vagina stretches to allow the baby to be born? That's the truth, after all...

What is the best age to talk to your children to warn them against sexual abuse..and what is the best approach?

I was watching the movie "Transformers" with my two girls (12 & 10) when the mother in one scene asked her son Sam if he had been masturbating behind a locked door. Instantly my youngest turned to me and asked me what masturbating was. My 12 year old also turned toward me in curiosity. What was I supposed to say?? I was completely caught off guard, because I thought this was a CHILDRENS movie! How do I answer this question? They are still asking me.

How do you talk to your 15 year old sone who claims to know everything, swears he knows he's not ready to be sexually active, yet you know he has already been "involved"? How do you let him know that it's okay to talk honestly with you, and you only want to make sure he's being safe?

I have been very diligent in overseeing what my daughter is exposed to. If there is a movie about teenagers (hairspray..) Then she doesn't see it, she is 11. She knows about getting her period and I know the baby talk should be had soon, but the public school is having 3 "human growth" sessions and I do not want her to be the only kid sitting out, yet I don't feel the county should dictate when our children are ready to know about HIV and sex and that at 10 you can "have a baby". We are in a town where the Moms are home or Nannys are watching the kids- not in an area where the kids are roaming free, why should we have to deal with the stigma of "sheltering " our kids, when they are OUR kids? Now either I let her go, or the next day the other kids will tell her what she missed!

The only thing that is really important is to MAKE IT IMPORTANT... TV has made SEX a THING... something that 'just happens' as if it was a game.
Kids want and expect the truth, no frills, no 'nerves' tell it as it is... you will be surprise how simple it is, they know a lot from school and friends, just make it right and make sure the door is always open for them to ask questions.
MOM of 7...

Jen,
Unfortunately we live in an age where it is possible that at the young age of ten girls can get pregnant. I feel that children are exposed to sex, STD's and all that goes with it at an earlier age then I was...I want to make sure my girls are informed with the correct information. I do not want them hearing what they missed at school from friends.

When I was growing up I never knew what was right about having sex with your boyfriend. Do you ar not? What do you tell kids today about it. My grandchildren have a lot of private talks with me, so I know this is going to come up soon. Thank you.

I have two boys 6 & 8 years. They are amazingly naive about sex. I teach them that their private parts are their private parts. Nobody can touch them, and nobody can see them unless Dad or I am there.

I know that the talk will be coming soon with my 8-year old. Because he is a boy, I want to make sure that I teach him to respect his body and all girls' bodies. Also, I want him to abstain until marriage.

Any ideas on how to raise children to believe in the idea of saving their body for their spouse?

I am a single mom of two. My son will be eleven soon. We have had some very frank conversations about sex and reproduction but I have been very careful to only answer the questions he asks and nothing more. He has been through a "Good Touch / Bad Touch" course at school and we talked about what was said and how he understood it. But I am wondering at what age do I have "the talk" with him? Is there an age when a parent just lays it all out there or is it better to just answer the questions as they come and hope that they put all the pieces together?
Also, my daughter is six and has never asked anything about where babies come from. Again, we've had the "Good Touch / Bad Touch" discussion but nothing more. Is no curiosity normal?

There is a lot information for parents to talk to kids, but what about kids who's parents are not adult enough to talk to them about it. I just turned 18, a junior in high school and my parents are still yet, to talk to me about where baby's come from, sex, or puberty (All though I think it is alittle late for some of that) My question is what are kids suppose to do when there parents are acting like the children, I have tried talking to my parents, but that does not work they assume if I am asking that it means I am having sex even though I have said a ton of times, I am not. I understand where my parents get it from becuase my hole family is like that, kepp everything stuffed inside. I hate it, Sex and body issues are nothing to be embarassed about. So what is a Teen to do?

I have a 17yr old future stepson his father and I have found out he has had unprotected sex with a girl that has slept around addmittedly. I was thinking of bringing him to planned parent hood to be tested for std's. Is this a step you reccomend? His father talked to him and told him he wasn't mad at what he'd done but dissappointed because we made protection available to him and he didn't use it. Especially after all he has seen mre go through with giving my child up for adoption at his age. Isn't our job to make sure he doesn't have something that could harm him or his future? I'm hoping the testing experience will help deter him for having unprotected sex again. I hear a full test can be very uncomfortable for boys/men.

Scared,
Rochelle

I have 3 girls, the oldest is going to be 9. The other day she told her dad a joke that in my opinion she shouldn't have repeated let alone been told to an 8 year old in the first place. When he told me about it I went upstairs to ask her about it. She very naively told me the joke and repeated the punch line (like she did when she was told the joke). I was appalled at the idea that I am facing this talk way sooner than I am prepared to do so. I simply told her that it wasn’t appropriate and it is something that would send her to the principal’s office. Was this too immature of an answer from me? She didn’t ask why? She just went with the flow. I know she didn’t understand the joke because there is no way she would have repeated it to I and her father. She doesn’t ask questions about where babies come from let alone sex and body parts. My issue is I want to be the person to tell her I feel this talk leads to openness between a mother and daughter at a very impressionable age. I don’t want her learning from the next door neighbor boy (who told her the joke). Is this a sign that it is time?

My step-daughter is not quite 8, but lately she has been asking very explicit questions about sex. She was molested, and I understand that she may know more than she is supposed to, but I'm not quite sure how to handle our conversations. My husband and I have answered her questions to an age appropriate level, but she keeps asking more questions and we don't think she would understand the answers. We're also afraid of overloading her with information. Any advice?

I was a sheltered child growing up. My mother did not talk to me about sex or how my body would change. What I learned was from our sex education class in 4th grade. I feel that it was an HUGE injustice to me as I grew older.

I don't want my children to feel the same as me, yet I'm TOTALLY freaked out to talk to my children about sex. I'm afraid that it will open a world for my children to explore more.

So many are being sure that their dear children are being given "the talk" at earlier and earlier ages. I think some of that is appropriate since I started my period at age 9. I had no clue what was happening to me and was terrified. Isn't is also just as important to emphasise abstinance? Not only do people get STD's but the stress that goes along with some of the behaviors is damaging. It has been for me.

I am a Grand Mother that is raising a Grand daughter. She is now 9 and has been developing since she was 5. She is advanced for her age but at the same time still a 9 year old.At what age do I start telling her about the facts of life? How much at this age should she be told?

Recently my 8 year old asked me what sex was since it was mentioned on the news. I thought about it for a moment and said it was something special between two people who love each other and that when she was a little bit older I would explain the rest to her. I told her I wasn't ready to explain it to her at that time. Now, ever since my kids were little, we have always used appropriately termed words for our anatomy so I am comfortable with using the proper terminology. I just need to know when I should explain more to her. She seemed okay at the time with the explanation I gave to her. Help!

My daughter turned 8 on Friday. On Tuesday while getting ready for bed, she said "Some people think s-e-x is a bad word." I asked her "who" and she named a boy in her class, who she had said a couple of months ago "thought S---- (a girl in her second grade class) was sexy." She thinks sexy is dancing like girls in music videos, or posing and walking like a model. She then said "What is sex really? I think its boy-girl bonding time." I told her we'd talk about it this weekend so I will definitely be tuned in.

She has two little sisters and knows babies grow in a special part of a woman's body behind the stomach, that they grow from an egg and come out of the vagina, and that when you are a young lady if your body doesn't need the blood to feed a baby it comes out every month and it doesn't hurt. I'm ok with explaining the biology of sex but I'm not sure how much I should tell her about the values and emotions at this age.

I'm thinking of saying sex is for grown ups, at least in college, that its a very special and important choice and only with someone you've known a long time and that you love and you know loves you and respects you, not for every boy you like or go on a date with. Is this too much information for 8?

My daughters are 10 and 8 years old and when is the right time to speak with them on the subject,sex? I feel that because they are at different age groups both of them do not need to have the same information persisted to them. Right? How do I start the conversation with each of them. I want it to be something that's simple in a way they will understand and not be confused.I'm nervous and want this to be done right or in good taste. Am I being over protective or what?

My daughters are 10 and 8 years old and when is the right time to speak with them on the subject,sex? I feel that because they are at different age groups both of them do not need to have the same information persisted to them. Right? How do I start the conversation with each of them. I want it to be something that's simple in a way they will understand and not be confused.I'm nervous and want this to be done right or in good taste. Am I being over protective or what?

I am a school nurse and every year give the "talk" to fifth graders. I use anatomically appropriate terms and encourage them to ask questions. There are no "dumb" questions as far as I am concerned. Every year the new fifth graders begin asking their teacher in August when they will 'get the talk."

I was appalled at your response on the Today show this morning to the mother who had a question about what to tell her daughters about Masterbation. I would tell them what Masterbation is, I don't believe in telling my children stories about those types of things and having them find the truth out later. What I am opposed to is your comment that it is something that "everybody does" and that it "is o.k. as long as it is done in private." I do not believe that masterbation is o.k. under any circumstance. I will not let my children watch Transformers because the movie states that masterbation is o.k. I DO NOT promote or share that belief.

When are we going to wake up and realize the children of America aren't listening to, "just say no." just say no to drugs, to alcohol, to sex. There is so much advertising trying to convince people to say yes! I am not blaming advertising. That's just part of the problem. Just because you or I can talk to our kids or reach our kids doesn't mean that all the other children left out there in the world should suffer. I believe we should come together and try to create a program for teenagers that would give them the ability to get birth control pills when they are ready themselves. Who cares if they don't have our permission. They are certauinly not going to call us and ask permission to have sex. THEY JUST DO IT!

My 7 year old step son seems to know a lot of about sexual things, or thinks he does. I do not know where he gets it because my husband and I do not talk about things like that in front of him. He watches cartoons, and some pg13 movies. We have decided not to let him watch anything but g movies because of things he has drawn and said. He once drew a picture of a girl with a skirt on and no top. Then he pointed to the boobs and wrote "tits". Where did he get this? He has also told his cousin (age 5) that boys put their balls into the girl. Please help!

Well when I was in school (I'm in unibersity now) The health unit nurse would come and talk to us each year starting in Grade 5. I think it was good, because she covered important stuff, but I don't think parents realize that their child has most likely had "the talk" in a way already. My mom drve me crazy each time she and I were alone asking me if I had got my period yet. Before she started asking, I wanted to be open with her, but she made it seem very uncomfortable to talk about. When I started, I didn't even tell her! I feel like nagging won't help a parent teach the child anything, so why bother?

I am the grandmother and guardian of my 11 year old grandson. I raised 5 daughters pretty well I think, but I find dealing with the sex issue with my grandson is different and difficult. He is aware of the changes happening to his body and we live in a mobile home Park where 80% of the children are with in 3 years of his age. This summer they all seem to be developing over night. I found that my one(1) x rated DVD was missing and one of my neighbors said that all of hers were missing. I am afraid that the kids are watching the movies somewhere and think that what they see is normal and correct. I did speak to my grandson and told him that it wasn't exactly normal and that like other movies not always real and that the X rated DVD's only show part of it, and that they don't show that love is important or what can happen from having sex. My question is how do I know if he even listened or understands what I told him. Also Just how much do I tell him at this point? I know he is very much interested in girls and he has to have a girl friend. He is always telling me he is going out with so in so, which means he is thinking of them as more than just a friend.

My 8year old boy as been to school and as been told of by the teacher for kissing a girl he has told me he likes her and she likes him i cant believe this is happening now hes still so young. Should i talk to him about it or just leave it we have spoke a little but ive not explained anything to him about the birds and the bees please help.