Couples Who Play Together Stay Together

A new study out of the University of Denver showed that couples who have more fun time together also report more marital satisfaction and good feelings about their partner. This seems rather obvious I suppose, but the interesting thing is that for the most part couples are working very hard to be able to afford some fun and yet they aren’t taking any time to do that. In fact, another recent study found that couples are spending less time together than ever. Between trying to make a living in these tough economic times and being a very present parent, couples are finding it hard to make some “we” time. Sadly, the fact remains that no fun times may lead to real marital disaster, which besides being painfully tragic, costs a whole lot of money that most couples can afford even less.

Watch the segment from TODAY
In addition, men and women seem to have different definitions of fun. Men define play by a shared activity, like going to a game or playing tennis together. Women define play by getting to have intimate conversation like they would with a close friend. This means that each needs to know what fun is to the other and make some attempt to meld those two wishes.

Watching TV or being on the computer do not qualify as having fun together: They are really solitary experiences. Fun is best achieved through doing something new and even somewhat exciting! This builds great memories and a history together of good times. So try something you haven’t done before with your mate, stretch yourself and make it alittle exciting, too (rock climbing anyone?)  When time is short try cooking together while talking or going to the coffee shop for a quick cup.

Any other ideas for couples looking to have a little fun?  Do you and your partner take time to have fun together? Please leave a comment with your thoughts.

Get more tips and information on Today Show on iVillage

0 TrackBacks

Listed below are links to blogs that reference this entry: Couples Who Play Together Stay Together.

TrackBack URL for this entry: http://gailsaltz.ivillage.com/system/mt-tb.cgi/9659

13 Comments

Sam said:

Wow, thanks for sharing your article anonymous. I am going to save it. There's a lot information here I was unaware of.

Devon said:

This is America buy what you want go where you want drive as much as you want. You marxist's disgust me as you sit there behind the keyboard of you evil corporate made computer and trash the free market. Tell me what innovations the marxist world you advocate has brought to anyone. IF you are middle class and a real american you should be disgusted by transfer of wealth from any group to another group. which this tax system does dont wnat to talk about that do you? You should be scared silly! You are here talking about not buying good and services from big evil corporations ON THE INTERNET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Provided to you by Time-Warner, AOL or any of the other big evil corporations. You should be scared silly by your own hypocracy. Why dont you practice what you preach and turn off your internet stop drinking lattes and make your own clothes and shoes in the woods living in a tree. Unbridled Capitalism?????????? Are you serious the USA is FAR from it That would mean Lassez faire and for those of you dumb americans that can only say Merci Beaucoup that means "let do" Meaning hands off. Which if you watch this government and the constant interference and lately down right destruction (Charles Shummer and indiemac) You could never say this isnt a mixed economy lurching to the left like you marxists would like. I just bought the new iPhone while i was drinking a caramel frappacino wearing a Sean Jean outfit in a pair of Nikes God Bless America!!!

Anonymous said:

Devon. I'm not a marxist. I'm a free thinker. I never said that computers, the internet, or the concept of free market are evil. Horribly flawed yes. Evil no. You need to re-phrase that fourth line. Otherwise, I have no choice but to label you as a socialist. Sure, I'll talk about taxes. I'll start with the division of tax burden relative to income, bottom line wealth, and government influense. Think its fair? Think again. When you account for all Federal, State, and local taxes, the middle class actually pay damn near the same rate as the rich. We are still the largest group. Yet, we have almost no influense on government policies, and way under half of our countries bottom line wealth. We don't even have enough collective income or bottom line wealth to pay for all the homes, cars, credit cards, food, and basic health care. Of course, we are a bunch of credit card consumer junkies. But THEY are a bunch of greedy pigs. Its wrong to take candy from a baby and its wrong to reap too much wealth from an ignorant society of followers. Especially when you deliberately mislead them. The economy simply does not work the way we have been told. Otherwise, those loans from China never would have been necessary. Again. I never said that the internet was evil. Its here. It serves a purpose. I'm using it for a legitimate cause. TO SPEAK THE TRUTH. But I do not directly support AOL, Time Warner, Microsoft, or any other ISP juggernaut. In fact, I don't have a personal account and I never click on internet ads. Unbridled Capitalism. Yes. Damn near it. About the banks and the pigs who run them. They got their hand stuck in the cookie jar. Which is about to break. Say goodbye to the American dream.

Are you kidding me? said:

I don't know what crawled up the Anonymous persons a*# but this article was about couples and spending time together. If you want to vent about why you hate the country you live in or who has more money than you then get your own talk show. Or, maybe your divorced or single and bitter and you just wanted to whine to someone about why your life sucks and who to blame it on except yourself. Get a life and save your breath!

Virginia said:

My husband and I play together all the time, even when we are on a family outing so to speak. We take the kids places that we also like to go and so therefore have a good time doing it. We try to make time for each other in the evenings once the children are asleep and we even go so far as to find games we can play together just so that we can laugh and joke. We also dont take each other over seriously, we tease and joke and just generally have a good time together without acting like everything has to be about love and romance. My husband spent 14 months in combat when the Iraq War actually first started, six months of which I did not even know where he was and I learned the hard way how much I had taken him for granted. I wont do that again and neither will he.

Carol said:

I've been married 4 yrs; no kids yet. My husband and I love each other, we laugh, we play, we spend free time together. Is good to have a husband that can be your lover, friend and some you can count with. However we would let each other know whenever he or me said or did something that could hurt his or mine feelings. We both agree that we won't let this marriage fall in a routine. We try differents activities, visit different places. And very important, no matter how angry me might be to each other, we always kiss before go to sleep. I hope y'all have a very good marriage.

Anonymous said:

My husband and I do catering jobs as a hobby. He and his friends started the business to service friends and it has grown into a great operation. It probably helps that I love to cook. His prior love interests beforeme wouldn't take part in this or his other interests.
My kids are younger than his grown kids, but they also get involved. I don't think you can sit home and wait for your man to come home to keep your relationship alive.

Anonymous said:

My husband and I work odd shift hours, so very little is open during the times we are home. We discovered that the easiest and most enjoyable way for us to spend time together, is just playing games together. Sometimes it is as simple as a game of cards, other times we play each other in multiplayer video games. Of course we have no children which greatly simplifies things, but even without them, it can be hard to find that time to spend together. But we notice when we don't. We fight and argue more over stuff that would not usually bother us, if we let too much time pass between. We even have turned the dreaded doing laundry into time to spend together, just playing and chatting.

Finally having FUN said:

I will say it up front,,,I know I'm gonna take A LOT of heat for this statement, but here it goes:

Honestly,,,the best marriage saver around is DON'T HAVE KIDS!!!! Sure they are the loves of your life,,,,blah,,,,blah. Then they turn into teenagers, that suck the life blood, from not only you, but your marriage too.

If you (the couple) can make it until they are out of the house,,,and still know and LIKE (not just love), each other, have as much fun as possible. We actually started going to a local shooting range, where we literally have a blast! Go boating, hiking, kayaking anything as long as you BOTH are having fun.

If I had a crystal ball 28 years ago,,,,I really don't know if I would have had any children. I LOVE MY KIDS, don't get me wrong. It's just that the bickering and side taking took it's toll on not only his first marriage, but mine as well. They are expensive and tend to be very ungrateful these days. I just don't know if it was worth it.

Michelle said:

This article is sooo true. My ex husband and I led very separate lives. Our interests didn't really overlap, and he worked crazy hours to support the family while I was a full time mom. After fourteen years, we didn't know each other anymore and had grown in totally separate directions. I have been in a relationship for 14 months with a wonderful man, and he is reaping the benefits of what I learned from my failed marriage. I will NEVER let that happen again.

Sarah said:

Devon, you're an idiot. America offers free education. Maybe you should go out and get one before you post another sentence without proper punctuation. Your opinion means nothing if it isn't legible.

Ris said:

We love to wrestle! We also play very competitive Monopoly. We both have hectic schedules with school and work but we have been together for almost four years now and are still going strong- better than ever! Tying into women's definition of fun.... I'm more into football than intimate conversations myself, but like all women I still have those girly days! But my guy's totally sensitive to all my needs, he's perfect!

Kathleen said:

I've always found doing something together while talking about stuff is always great. Although, my favourite date pairing is playing video games (I'm a geek girl, okay?) something with a little action, and then a nice sit down with tea, hot chocolate or coffee in a nice, quiet place to just sit together close and chat about life in general. :)

It take up both ends and we both like it. Win-win.

Leave a comment


Type the characters you see in the picture above.

* - mandatory fields. ** - We do not collect Emails but for verification purposes valid email must be provided

About Me

Psychiatrist, author and Today show contributor Gail Saltz shares what's on her mind and helps explain what's on yours.

Disclaimer
This Blog is designed for educational purposes only. You should not rely on this information as a substitute for personal medical attention, diagnosis or hands-on treatment. If you are concerned about your health, please consult your family’s health provider or go to the emergency room.

close

RSS

Archives