It seems that summer often reminds us of romantic adventures. Running through the surf holding hands, kissing in the sand, toasting with a fruity cocktail. So I see many women who are feeling particularly put out that their summer is not feeling any more romantic than the rest of the year, and on a passionate scale of 1 to 10, it’s about a 2.

While it’s true that romance can get a boost from a new setting and therefore from a vacation where there is more time for play, it’s hard to turn on and off romantic feelings. In order to have more romance you really have to make an effort to build it. Couples who have lost affection after years of marriage have to make an actual conscious plan to start holding hands, give each other massages, remember to compliment each other and try new things in bed.

Really any season can provide the backdrop, though summer (with more skin often showing) lends itself quite well. If you are feeling disappointed with a lack of romance, go to your spouse tonight, this very night, hold their hand and look in their eyes and say “I love you and I want us to be more romantic.” Then follow through. You will be surprised what a difference it can make!