Too Hot For Sex?

Interestingly, I have been hearing from couples where one or both are feeling less in the mood for sex, and the reason seems to be that it is simply too hot. How can you be too hot for sex?!?! 

Well, actually there are some people who really dislike sweating or feeling overheated. For them, feeling warm and then touching bodies makes them feel like they are melting and miserable. For some people, sweating is really part of the fun of the exertion of sex-- the messier the better. For others, covered in sweat is a big turn off. This can be a matter of personal fastidiousness, sensitive nose, embarrassment created by sweating, or feelings that a hot flash is being exacerbated by closeness.

If your partner's desire seems to have gone down as the temperature goes up, you might want to ask them about their feelings on the heat. The good news is that there are options to help out.

Sex in the water does away with the whole concern about sweat and heat. In the shower, in the tub, a pool, the ocean...you get the idea!  Blasting the air conditioning in one room just prior to bedtime is another way to go.  It may be 80 degrees everywhere else, but for an hour it can be 70 degrees wherever you plan to make whoopee.

For those for whom fastidiousness is an overall issue, this could be the opportunity to desensitize yourself to sweat:  Just go for it and see that sweat can be fun!

Any other suggestions out there?  I'd love to hear how you beat the heat.

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10 Comments

gayle said:

Have you ever had sex in the water? Can't do it unless you use petroleum jelly and it doesn't do well with me as it may not with others. Why not try turning up the air condition or put a fan over the bed and put it on high. We don't have the sweat problem when using this method.

Doesn't Matter said:

If it is too hot for sex then you are in trouble. That sounds like an excuse to me. Like, I have a head ache. Seriously sex is hot! I understand where the problem is better than you might think. But the honest truth is if it is too hot and that is what you are experiencing then you need to get counseling and quick because there won't be any sex with that partner after a while. Even in the depths of winter. Someone is not being satisfied. Learn to play. Grab some ice cubes, get a mister. Have fun! Fun sex is hot and when it is hot it is easier to have fun!

girly86 said:

Actually for me feeling the summer heat is even a bigger turn on! Not the same for my hubby so we have to reach a compromise in the room temperature :)

Maria said:

Me and my hubby have been married for almost 8 years and in the city we live in it gets to 114 in temperature, but it never stops us from being together. We go to the shower and do our loving there. Its great. It never fails to be exciting.

km said:

actually, my hubby + I have been together for 10 yrs: and YES, sometimes it is TOO HOT for sex. I sweat aggressively behind the knees when on top (we're talking pouring sweat til the sheets are soaked after), if he's on top it's fine.
Also for some couples who are naturally prone to migraine after orgasm (mine IS), the heat creates a massive migraine which can be v painful + not go away for a few days. Thus it's easier to wait til it cools down sometimes..at night :)

mmagnolia said:

Greetings.....
Please be careful regarding the *sex under/in water*. There's medical agreement that potential exists for harm to the female when penis-pumps. Toxins in water can enter the vagina. Enjoy Safe Frolics!

Meowser said:

When it gets hot you have to be creative. Ice cubes can add a lot of excitement to a hot night.

Dolly said:

Its never to hot to hump!

Dbi said:

So... I have a guy-friend who sweats a lot and he told me that he dislikes sweating while having sex, because of the amount. He felt "un-sexy". He just made sure he did it anywhere w/air coinditioning or with a fan on. Although he considered his partner's thoughts about that too. ^___^ I sweat a lot too and it makes me uncomfortable to sweat all that much during sex but I really don't say anything. Hey! If my partner doesn't complain about it, it means he doesn't mind. :) But yeah, I did express my feelings to my partner and he tries to please me so I don't feel so "icky" or "blah-ish"

P.D. It's never (almost never) too hot for sex.

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About Me

Psychiatrist, author and Today show contributor Gail Saltz shares what's on her mind and helps explain what's on yours.

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This Blog is designed for educational purposes only. You should not rely on this information as a substitute for personal medical attention, diagnosis or hands-on treatment. If you are concerned about your health, please consult your family’s health provider or go to the emergency room.

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