Recession-Proof Your Marriage

Many couples fight about money—it is the number-one source of arguing in the best of times. But now, in some of the worst financial times, money has become an even greater stress on couples.

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Couples who already had methods of communicating and compromising—gaining strength from each other and helping each other cope—are in better shape now than those who already had a rocky relationship. They are likely bringing those same skills to bear even as the stakes are higher. In fact, these couples may even find themselves feeling closer to each other and better about each other than before. They realize that together they can beat the battle better than alone, and they bring out each others' strengths.

Couples who have always struggled with talking, being secretive or even dishonest with each other are going to feel even worse with this new economic stress. They may find themselves unbearably stressed by the money secrets and totally alone about who to confide in. This loneliness can lead to depression and anxiety.

Now is the time to come clean about all money matters. Tell each other about debt, priorities, wishes, fears. Once the cards are on the table, you can start fresh on how to rebuild. Going forward, be honest with your partner and make money decisions as a team. Have conferences and make contingency plans on how you will act or spend for various scenarios. Having bailout plans of your own will make you feel less fearful of all the “what if?” situations and free you up to be more relaxed together. Plan for non-expensive playtime, like walks, exercising together, acting silly and having sex!

Having fun together is very important in these stressful times.

Is recession fear making you feel closer or pushing you apart?

  • We're leaning on each other more. I feel like we're closer.
  • We're fighting more. I feel like we're growing more distant.
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Click here for more tips on dealing with financial stress from Dr. Gail Saltz, or find ways to Bail Yourself Out from iVillage.

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3 Comments

Kate said:

There are positives to be had from this economic situation. Kids are learning that money doesn't grow on trees, a valuable lesson. We're not being as wasteful as we once were. Families are eating more meals at home and together. Kids are not receiving everything they wish for the minute they wish for it. They're also doing more chores.
Sometimes it takes the removal of excess to see the valuables in front of you.

hello! thanks for your article. nice ideas and interesting point of view. I'm interested in this kind of information on money problems within a famity and will be so much glad to read new notes written by you. good job! have a nice day

in our family we put all our money in the same shelf and do not count who take how much from there... so everyone is conscious about his expenses and takes just according with one's needs and there's no scandals out of it

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About Me

Psychiatrist, author and Today show contributor Gail Saltz shares what's on her mind and helps explain what's on yours.

Disclaimer
This Blog is designed for educational purposes only. You should not rely on this information as a substitute for personal medical attention, diagnosis or hands-on treatment. If you are concerned about your health, please consult your family’s health provider or go to the emergency room.

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