Emotional affairs are on the rise because the ability to connect with more people outside of a marriage has increased. For example, there are more women in the workplace and, of course, the Internet has opened up new opportunities. Plus, it is also on the rise because many people convince themselves that as long as there is no sex, it's not an affair... but it is.

An affair really has to do with secrecy, deception of the partner and therefore betrayal. It also has to do with the amount of emotional energy you put into the new person that you therefore are not giving to your partner. Actually, most people are more disturbed by the breaking of trust than by sex in an affair.  That betrayal of trust is the most difficult thing to recover from.

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Many people have an emotional affair, yet due to their own denial don’t believe they are cheating. The denial keeps them guilt-free and they don’t have to give it up.

So how do you know if you are having emotional affair?

1. You keep meetings and conversations secret from your partner.
2. You say and do things with another person you never would in front of your spouse.
3. You make a point to arrange talk time with someone other than your partner.
4. You share things with another person that you don’t with your partner.

Most people were actually not looking for an affair. They find themselves interested in a new person and it becomes a slippery slope.  At some point, if the relationship continues it often does lead to sex. The person may start to depend on them for the emotional highs and good feelings they give throughout during the day.

So often we don’t appreciate our relationship until we are about to lose it. If you have had an affair, you need to own up and take responsibility

Here's my advice if you think you're having an emotional affair:

• END IT! No halfway, no "kind of", no being friends…It has to end or you will still be in it and cannot build back your partners trust.
• Take Responsibility. No one else did it but you.  You need to own it to get past it.
• Figure out why you did it. Was your marriage failing? Were you looking for self esteem? Repeating the pattern of a parent who cheated?
• Be trustworthy. The biggest obstacle to your relationship's survival is the betrayal, so you must be thoroughly open and trustworthy to build trust back. This means doing what your partner needs you to do (like coming home right after work, breaking off all contact with the other person).
• It takes time. Rebuilding trust after betrayal takes time.  You have to be patient and can’t expect your partner to just bounce back.

So, what do you think?   Take the poll and leave a comment with your thoughts below!

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Who, you may ask, is having sex after 50, after 60, after 70? The answer is...plenty of people.

It is true that as one ages there are issues that come up, both physical and psychological, that can put a real crimp in your sex life. In fact, a third of people post 50 report having real sexual problems that range from erectile dysfunction to loss of libido. But, that also means that 75% of people are not reporting a problem.

As age goes up, so do medical problems and use of medications, both of which can interfere with sexual functioning. Many couples kind of give up once they don't feel like it or sex is fraught with some failure or disappointment. Once a couple throws in the towel, it is highly unlikely they will get back to sex. The point being that a problem should be addressed as soon as it arises. Sometimes hormone replacement is needed or a medical problem addressed or medication changed, and certainly above all there needs to be discussion about improving the sex and trying new things to see what might work.

Many couples, however, report the best sex they have ever had after 50. Both men and women may become more comfortable with their bodies, know what works best for each other, and feel generally less inhibited. They don't have to worry about pregnancy and birth control--though they should continue protected sex unless this is their longterm, STD free and monogamous partner.

While there are certainly more challenges to sex after menopause and with advancing age, the idea that there is no great sex then is a myth. If you are experiencing difficulty, see your doctor to check medical issues and hormone levels.

Remember that this time requires more communication and openness, but there is much to be gained!

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I will discuss on the TODAY Show what happens when your partner has a wandering eye.

First off, it is worth saying that humans all have some measure of voyeurism and exhibitionism: we like to look and we like to show. Some of us like it however, more than others. I tend to hear more distress from women about their male partner looking at other women and how much this bothers them.

Both men and women are visual, but it is true that men tend to look more at women's bodies than women checking out men, but women having a wandering eye is on the rise. Men also tend to think about sex more times per day than women and this becomes a part of their looking.

Still, there is looking and there is LOOKING. Most people are not very bothered by the occasional glance. But blatantly checking out, commenting on, repeated admiring of and certainly flirting or touching usually feel quite undermining to a partner. Such behavior makes one feel unappreciated, and even threatened in the relationship. Unless both parties are confident of the others' affection, appearance, and fidelity it generally will stir envy and hurt.

It's helpful to know that some people don't really realize what they are doing and how it makes you feel. You really do have to point it out, make them aware of it and how it makes you feel. Many partners, once told how hurtful and disrespectful it is to you, will make an effort to curb such behavior, but the hurt party will often have difficulty explaining how they feel.

Make it clear: you don't expect them to wear blinders, or stare at the ground; just don't ogle. If your partner really won't make any effort to change and doesn't appear to care how it makes you feel, it's likely you have other such issues and couples therapy may be in order. Most important is to be rational and reasonable in your request. Being unreasonably jealous with unreasonable requests is likely to make your partner throw out the baby with the bathwater and pay you no heed.

Also make sure you do give your partner positive feedback and admiration because everyone needs that and if you don't at all, they may be "looking" for that feedback elsewhere.

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Today we discussed how to help Sharon with her "divorce makeover". Here were some of the psychological points that I thought would be helpful to Sharon.

Sometimes a person allows herself to be treated badly in a marriage because she feels she deserves it, that she is really not worthwhile or valuable, lovable and maybe even are deserving of punishment. Many overweight women struggle with feeling no one will ever want them, so they think they should hold onto a terrible guy or they will always be alone. Women who don't think much of themselves are often terrified of being alone and would hold onto someone who makes them miserable rather than risk being alone. It is a belief that they cannot take care of themselves.

Sharon has already taken the important step of both knowing that she can take care of herself alone (at least as well as together with him), and that she does have good stuff and deserves some happiness. She needs to continue to grow her self-confidence, which can happen through financial planning, making outside friends who enrich her life and being a good mom. She should review her attributes which are more than her new lower weight. She should make some future goals of where she would like to be personally in life in two years, five years, ten years. This will help her see that life will move on and she has opportunities for gratification in the future too.

Children do suffer with divorce. There is no way to completely avoid it: the two people she loves are separating and so she cannot have you both at the same time. She has to miss one of you. This is painful and it is normal that she will grieve. Let her do so and let her talk to you about her sad feelings. Tell her most children feel that way and that with time she will feel less sad, but that you understand and can let her talk about her feelings. Be on the lookout for feelings of real anxiety or depression (changes in sleep, appetite, social withdrawal or constant seeking of attention from anyone, school problems), and if there is concern let a professional evaluate her. Reassure her that you and daddy will always love her, even if your love for each other is gone. You two will always be there for her.

Her biggest fear is if you stopped loving him, could you stop loving her? You need to tell her that won't happen and how a child is different from a spouse. Try to work with your ex, for her benefit. If a mediator would help, use one. Despite anger, you need to talk about your child and do what is best for her. Argue elsewhere; do not put each other down in front of her. She needs to hold onto two parents who are good and love her. Making either one of you bad takes a parent away from her.

Reassure her you will both be there for her and love her. Also tell her, you will each be okay. She will worry you won't be, she needs to know you can each take care of yourselves as well.

Recently there have been a number of young celebrity marriages which have failed. Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe announced their plans to call it quits. The two were formerly thought of as “the perfect Hollywood couple." Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey broke up last year and reports say the reason lies in the fact they were too young. Britney Spears and Kevin Federline have finally ended it. Is marriage in your early 20's doomed to fail? Statistics show that people are getting married later in life. But does getting married in your teens and early twenties make divorce more likely?

A recent study by the National Institute of Mental Health and UCLA's Laboratory of Neuro-Imaging stated that the point of intellectual maturity, the so-called "age of reason," comes at about age 25, and that major life-changing decisions shouldn't be made before then. The problem is, the study says, that teenagers and young adults make decisions with the amygdala (the instinctual and emotional portion of the brain) and the frontal lobe of the brain (which controls judgment and the ability to evaluate consequences) and that these regions of the brain are not fully developed by the teenage years.

Another study conducted by the National Healthy Marriage Resource Center claimed that postponing marriage until after the age of 25 can reduce the chance of divorce by up to 25 percent. The National Center for Health Statistics found nearly half of all marriages in which the bride is 18 years or younger end in separation or divorce within 10 years. For brides 25 and older, half as many marriages break up. The 2005 census bureau found that the median age for first marriages in the United States is 26.7 years for men and 25.1 for women. Overall the age of marriage tends to be older in cities than in more rural areas.

These statistics alone are enough to make one think twice about marrying very young. In fact, the growing trend for adults to seek higher education is delaying the age at which most people think about getting married. This is especially true for women who are making more money and may not feel as pressured to get married because they can live on their own and support themselves.

One advantage of waiting to marry is the ability to spend some time on your own which helps build your confidence -- you know you can make it on your own, you know you bring something to the table. That kind of confidence helps you to be a better partner and be more secure in a marriage relationship. People who are insecure can feel desperate to cling onto their partners and yet may have difficulty making compromises because they fear losing themselves if they do. Feeling confident in your identity makes being flexible easier and less threatening.

Life experience may also help you have a more realistic expectation of marriage. That life acquired wisdom also makes it clear that divorce results in greatly diminished income for the home as well as negative effects on both physical and mental health for both people involved as well as any children. This knowledge often helps both parties to work harder at their relationship rather than opting for divorce.

Of course there are couples who marry young and have a long and fruitful marriage. Sometimes they really grow together and therefore work well as a team to make the marriage work. Overall, though, it is worth considering your maturity, age and life experience before entering into the commitment of marriage.