Are you wondering what is going to fill the void of passion-filled talks about candidates, nights riveted by cable news, days of having really good stuff to laugh or cry about at the water cooler? Then you may be suffering from "election withdrawal." This is, of course, a term I am making up to describe the let down and emptiness that many Americans are going to experience after what has been one of the most hyped up, exciting and engaging elections ever.

This election has given many people a way to cope with our nation's current difficulties: the economic crisis and concerns over what the future will bring. At times, it has provided someone to blame and also someone to put hope in. It gave many Americans the feeling that they can do something to improve the national situation, as well as their own lot in life.

So, what can you do if you are struggling with a void now? Find a new passion... in fact, find a few. Passion is good for the psyche and good for the soul. Find other things to get revved about, other ways to take action and, perhaps most of all, to creatively give back. By helping others and following a cause, you will find your own peace and joy. Share your beliefs and vision. Talk to friends and family - sharing those intimate thoughts and aspirations brings you closer and is very satisfying.

Continue to stay engaged in world news. Many Americans awoke from a state of apathy to learn what is going on in this country. Don't let that go! Continue to read the paper and watch the news. Stay abreast of current events and participate in your community's issues. When times are tough, feeling like an agent of change and really helping makes you feel connected to others and powerful in your own right.

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A recent issue of The Boston Globe included an article about Mahzarin Banaji, a Harvard professor who studies the psychology of bias.  For two decades, Banaji has been a leading researcher into the nature of our implicit, unconscious biases.

To divide up the world by the preferences that you have is utterly human. We all have unconscious biases that often dictate who we like and who we don't. The bias may not be about race. It might be a preference between men and women, religions, community, even how people dress.

In experiments designed to test our unconscious biases, the psychologist found that 80 percent of whites show a preference for the company of whites, while 40 percent of blacks show a preference for the company of other blacks. But blacks, much more so than whites, are more vocal in saying so. At this point in time, Obama is ahead in the polls. How meaningful is this? It's hard to say because bias may cause many people to vote differently from what they told a pollster. Not because they wanted to be deceptive, but because they stayed unaware of their own bias until they got in the voting booth.

The best way to deal with bigotry and bias is to acknowledge it. By accepting your own biases you have the best chance at countering them and working to correct them. Unconscious motivations have the power to control our behaviors and the more conscious the thought you have, the better the chances that you can control it. Everyone has some amount of bias about something. We can all work toward a more equitable and accepting world by knowing our own human minds and helping each other to keep the playing field fair and level.

Will race affect the final outcome of the election?

• Yes, it's inevitable that race will be a factor.
• Don't know--it's impossible to predict how people will really vote.
• No, people will vote on the issues.

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People are feeling especially intensely about this election, not surprising given the sorry state of the nation at this point. I have been hearing from some couples that each member of the couple wants a different candidate to win this election....badly. Fear and anxiety drive a passion for a fix, so believing that your candidate possesses the cure makes you quite intent.

What happens when you feel intently for Obama and your mate feels intently for McCain? Fireworks! These couples are fighting about everything, not just national issues but it spills over into how you parent, how you clean, how you spend and of course how and IF you will have sex. Sometimes a heated argument can lead to great make-up sex, especially if it was actually a passionate exchange of intellectual ideas that neither of you take all that personally. But for a number of couples today, it is very very personal. In fact, personally, they are shutting their partner out in the non-sexual cold as punishment for supporting the "enemy".

You need to keep in mind that after November one person will be president, and you won't be married to him. You will be married to the same spouse and you will have to make that work.

Political debate is fun and exciting, a war of the Roses is not.

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